SAtURDAY, APRIL 1, 1944
My dearest Kitty,
And yet everytill so difficult. You do kno you? I long so muco kiss me, but t kiss is taking its o time. Does ill t I mean anything more?
You and I bot Im strong, t I can carry most burdens alone. Ive never been used to so a mot Id love to lay my sit tly.
I cant, I simply cant forget t dream of Peters c too so say me near hing?
Ive got to stop, Ive got to be calm. Ill try to be strong again, and if Im patient, t -- and t part -- I seem to be co go upstairs; o me. But ts because of
tands hink .
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
MONDAY, APRIL 3, 1944
My dearest Kitty,
Contrary to my usual practice, Im going to e you a detailed description of tuation, since its become a matter of some difficulty and importance, not only in all of holland, all of Europe and even beyond.
In ty-one mont;food cyclesquot; -- youll understand means in a moment. A quot;food cyclequot; is a period in able to eat. For a long time e not endive. Endive sand, endive atoes, endive-and-masato casserole. t oes, sauerkraut, etc., etc.
Its not muco eat, say, sauer- kraut every day for lunc deligables at all.
Our -pea soup, potatoes ato kugel and, by turnip greens or rotten carrots, and ts back to broage, potatoes at every meal, starting , but ttle. to make soup atoes, packages of vege- table soup, packages of catoes ation gravy and -- till got it -- beet salad. I must tell you about the dumplings.
e make t-issue flour, er and yeast. toug it feels as if you omac oh well!
t is our , and ttered bread.
But ill alive, and mucime it still tastes good too!
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
EDNESDAY, APRIL 5, 1944
My dearest Kitty,
For a long time no knoale. If t over by September, I go back to sc to be two years behind.
Peter filled my days, not Peter, dreams and ts until Saturday nig so utterly miserable; o te I o cry my eyes out. I slid to tgoly. to my c, lay my me back doo eartears, since I didnt anyone next door to ried to pull myself toget;I must, I must, I must. . . quot; Stiff from sitting in sucion, I fell back against t up my struggle until just before ten-ty, was over!
And nos really over. I finally realized t I must do my sco keep from being ignorant, to get on in life, to become a journalist, because ts ! I knoe. A feories are good, my descriptions of t Annex are . . . it remains to be seen .
quot;Evas Dreamquot; is my best fairy tale, and t I dont est idea s of quot;Cadys Lifequot; are also good, but as a and critic. I kno.
Unless you e yourself, you cant knoo bemoan t t I couldnt dra no at least I can e.
And if I dont alent to e books or neicles, I can ale for myself. But I to ac. I cant imagine o live like Mot tten. I need to o devote myself to! I dont to people. I to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people, even t. I to go on living even after my deats o God for , o express all ts inside me!
e I can ss are
revived! But, and ts a big question, o e somet, or a er?
I ing alloo record everyts, ideals and fantasies.
I ;Cadys Lifequot; for ages. In my mind Ive exactly tory doesnt seem to be coming along very ll epaper basket or tove. ts a , but to myself, quot;At teen and tle experience, you cant e about philosophy.”
So ons. Itll all , because Im determined to e!
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
thURSDAY, APRIL 6, 1944
Dearest Kitty,
You asked me s are and Id like to ans Id better be surprised.
First of all: ing, but I dont really t as a hobby.
Number t I can find for trees of trian, Russian, Norc progress ime Ive been taking notes many of tory.
So my tory, and Fat me numerous books. I can for to go to t out Iii tion I need.
Number four is Greek and Roman myt too.
I can name tc., etc., do.
My otars and family pograp reading and
books. I adore tory of ts, especially ers, poets and painters; musicians may come later. I loatry and aritic. I enjoy all my ots, but orys my favorite!
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
tUESDAY, APRIL 11, 1944
My dearest Kitty,
My kno time I e you) everyternoon (Good Friday) urday afternoon too. turday, o t, everyt.
Sunday afternoon Peter came to see me at four-ty, at my invitation. At five-fifteen to t attic, il six. til ful Mozart concert on to seven-fifteen; I especially enjoyed tmusik. I can o listen in tciful music stirs me to ter couldnt take ub c to t attic togeto be able to sit comfortably, I took along ted ourselves on a packing crate. Since bote and tting quite close, leaning against tes; Mousc us company, so a c a quarter to nine, Mr. van Daan airs and Mr. van Daan. taken t migire er and I stuck take t again o go sit in ttle intermezzo.
But our fun nine-ty Peter knocked gently on to come upstairs and Englisence.
quot;t sounds fis; I said to Margot. quot;Its obviously a pretext. You can tell by talking t t; I t very moment. Fater were
doairs in a flas, Moted. Four frigo talk, so ts il er t all . truck quarter to ten. t bang? ere ting oo scared to t.
ten oclock, footsteps on tairs. Fat;Lig, tiptoe upstairs, ing t; t time to be scared. ts c, and doairs.
quot; ell us quickly!”
to tell us; tairs. t come back up until ten past ten. t c Peters open o t. e draped a ser over our nig, and told us w had happened:
Peter airs and sa a large panel airs, alerted t;; and t doairs. ered t t t;Police!quot; steps outside; t back in t notice t t kick from outside sent it flying to t ty. Boter and Mr. van Daan felt a murderous rage come over t t again. Once more ttempt side, a man and a ing up tire ; mumbled one of t noead of policemen, tairs. Dussel and Mr.
van Daan snatcer opened tce office, o the bookcase.
END OF PARt ONE In all probability t ed t day, Easter Monday, to be closed, be able to move around until tuesday morning.
t, o sit in sucerror for a day and t simply sat tccime we ;Shh, shh.”
It en-ty, t a sound. Fatook turns coming upstairs to us. t eleven-fifteen, a noise belosteps in te office, tcaircase. All sounds of breatopped, eigs pounded. Foot- steps on tairs, ttling at t is indescribable.
quot;No; I said, and I een of us being dragged aapo t very night.
More rattling at tsteps receded. e of danger, so far! A s ts of teettering, no one said a ayed like til eleven-ty.
t a lig in front of t because t it looked so suspicious or because t? as anyone going to come back and turn it off? e found our tongues again.
t peranding guard outside. e tried to guess rembled to ts tic, all al epaper basket. Mr. van Daan first, t Motoo embarrassed. Fat te- basket to t room, efully made use of it. Mother finally gave in.
t demand for paper, and luckily I .
tebasket stank, everyt on in a .
quot;Lie doo sleep!quot; Margot and I lay doable legs. t quite so bad w Mrs.
van Daan quietly and got some poty as a furtion.
talk, inually going to try sleeping t! By ty, ired I dozed off and didnt il ty. I woke up w.
quot;For o put on!quot; I said. I ask er and a black skirt, ockings and tattered kneesocks.
Mrs. van D. sat back do. From ty on, and still s Mr. van Daan couldnt sleep. I urn of tell try to bribe them!
quot;e s; moaned Mrs. van D.
quot;Sure, in tove,quot; ans;If t as he radio!”
quot;t; added Father.
quot;So burn it,quot; suggested t terrified of the group.
ttling on ts oo! t say anything more.
t in recounting all tions; so muced Mrs. van Daan, alked about escaping, being interrogated by tapo, phoning Mr. Kleiman and being courageous.
quot;e must beime ll be for Queen and Country, for freedom, trutice, as telling us on t h us!”
After an c beside me. tte after anotrip to tty, and thing began allover again.
Four oclock, five, five-ty. I and sat er by ened, so close ime to time and listened intently. Next door took do screen.
t of everyto tell Mr. Kleiman over tended to call seven and ask o send someone over. taking a big c t ter risk t turn.
Im enclosing t, but for ty, Ill copy it here.
Buralary: Police in building, up to bookcase, but no fartly interrupted, forced ed; Kugler must through second door.
typeer and adding mac in private office.
Mieps or Beps laundry in waschen.
Only Bep or Kugler o second door; lock may be broken.
try to key, look around office; also feed cat.
For t, everyt according to plan. Mr. Kleiman er back in t. t around table again and ed for eithe police.
Peter o sleep and Mr. van Daan ANNE FRANK and I steps belo up quietly. quot;Its Jan!”
quot;No, no, its t; they all said.
t our bookcase. Miep oo much for Mrs.
van Daan, ension ed anote, sed.
Jan and Miep came in and ful scene. table alone o a page of dancing girls and smeared in, o combat tin, a mirror, a comb, matctes, tobacco, an ass, a
flas, Mrs. van Daans comb, toilet paper, etc.
Jan and Miep ed s and tears. Jan nailed a pine off again o inform te under t ciced ted to see Sleegers.
So to rigransformation as in ty minutes. Margot and I got tairs, to teetraig and back upstairs. table some er, made coffee and tea, boiled t table. Fater emptied our improvised potties and rinsed ter and poo time lifting it. to make t o put it in a bucket.
At eleven oclock Jan table, and gradually everyone began to relax. Jan ory to tell:
Mr. Sleegers old Jan t y as nigcrols t on ell Mr. Kugler t. No one at tation seemed to kno t te to come first tuesday morning to have a look.
On to run into Mr. van atoes, and told ;I kno; Mr. van hoeven calmly replied.
quot;Last nig your building, I saed to I peeked inside , and ts call t it be kno I ; Jan t on. Mr. van s oes at lunc man!
It ime Jan left and of us to bed. I quarter to t Mr. Dussel o run into Peter in t after hed
come doairs. e agreed to meet in t and down.
quot;After all till dare go to t attic?quot; , and up togeto ayed mine around quietly like til four oclock, o get us for coffee.
e ate our bread, drank our lemonade and joked (o again), and for t everyto normal. t evening I ter because of us all.
None of us nigruly c t at t ill no one ;No; Id moment, but once again falling, itll be every man for time Cians who are helping us.
quot;eve been saved, keep on saving us!quot; ts all we can say.
t about a rolling ty. Peter isnt alloo open iced it after nine-ty at nig coniger from to make a barricade out of our bedsteads. Debates are going on left and rigairs. ed, s of things.
eve been strongly reminded of t t , any rig ions. e must put our feelings aside; be brave and strong, bear discomfort complaint, do rust in God. One day terrible ime Jews!
ed t us apart from all t? us
ts God s also God if, after all till Je, the Jewish people will be held up as an example.
eac about goodness, and ts to suffer. e can never be just Dutc Englisever, t to be.
Be brave! Lets remember our duty and perform it complaint. t. God ed our people. to suffer, but turies of suffering ronger. trong s be defeated!
t nig I o die. I ed for ttlefield. Id gladly ry.
But no Ive been spared, my first o become a Dutcizen. I love tcry, I love t to e to t give up until Ive reached my goal!
Im becoming more and more independent of my parents. Young as I am, I face life ter and truer sense of justice t I , I isfied. I kno Im a rengt deal of courage!
If God lets me live, Ill ac into the world and work for mankind!
I no courage and !
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
FRIDAY, APRIL 14, 1944
Dear Kitty,
Everyone ill very tense. Pim ; Mrs. van D. is lying in bed tes; Dussel,
everyone; etc., etc. e seem to of luck lately. toilets leaking, and ts stuck. to our many connections, o get these repaired.
Im occasionally sentimental, as you kno from time to time I o be:
ting close togete among t, our arms around eacer toying h a lock of my hair;
rilling trees are in bud, ws when I wish for so much!
All I see around me are dissatisfied and grumpy faces, all I ifled complaints. Youd taken a sudden turn for tly, to set a good example. e eaco figure out o get tter of our own moods!
Every day you ;If only it were all over!”
ork, love, courage and hope, Make me good and help me cope!
I really believe, Kit, t Im a little nutty today, and I dont knoo anotimes I seriously doubt ed in t quot;t; My diaries certainly be of muco Mr.
Bolkestein or Mr. Gerbrandy.* [* Gerrit Bolkestein er of Education and Pieter Gerbrandy er of tc in exile in London.
See Annes letter of March 29, 1944.] Yours, Anne
M. Frank
SAtURDAY, APRIL 15, 1944
Dearest Kitty,
quot;t one bad ter anot all end?quot; You can sure say t again. Guess to unbolt t door. As a result, Mr. Kugler and t get in. to Kegs, smasc in t too. must thinking? And van Maaren?
Mr. Kuglers furious. e accuse doing anyto reinforce the doors, and
tupid ters extremely upset. At table, Mot more sorry for Peter to cry. ere equally to blame, since er on. I to help him so much!
est neins about life in t Annex over t few weeks:
A urday, Boc sick. quite still and started drooling.
Miep immediately picked oucked o t clinic. Bocestinal problem, so t gave er gave it to imes, but Boc courting . But noo steal food and somebody smacked aken to t too, sarted getting better.
e notic en sit up the evening.
to rubber cement and oil paint, our toilet ; could quickly be repaired. t has been replaced.
Luckily, Mr. Kleiman is feeling better. o see a specialist soon. e can only need an operation.
t tation books. Unfortunately, for t tuted for oatmeal or groats. Our latest delicacy is piccalilli. If youre out of luck, all you get is a jar full of cucumber and mustard sauce.
Vegetables are o come by. ttuce, lettuce and more lettuce. Our meals consist entirely of potatoes and imitation gravy.
tis advancing beyond Cassino. ell o count on tern all. t of unbelievably ry of Birtcion registration cards.
Enougoday.
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
SUNDAY, APRIL 16, 1944
My dearest Kitty,
Remember yesterdays date, since it ter day for me. Isnt it an important day for every girl s no less important to me. time Bram kissed me on my rigra on my rig count. ell you.
Last nig eigting er on long before an arm around me. (Since it urday, tle,quot; I said, quot;so keep bumping my the cupboard.”
ically in t I never so close as nig side against ; my o beat faster, but to come. satisfied until my op of mine. I sat up again after about five minutes, but before long ook my it back next to oo intense;
clumsily, and played of time our ouching.
I cant tell you, Kitty, t ran too oo.
At nine-ty ood up. Peter put on ennis s make mucly round of tanding next to movement, I dont kno before doairs, core doairs looking back, and I long so mucoday.
Sunday morning, just before eleven.
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
MONDAY, APRIL 17, 1944
Dearest Kitty,
Do you tting on a divan and kissing a seventeen-and- a- t I o trust my o in tter. Its so peaceful and safe, lying in s so to feel mine, its so o knoing for me. But, and t, er to leave it at t? I forgotten . . . he is a boy!
I knoarting at a very young age. Not even fifteen and already so independent -- ts a little o understand. Im pretty sure Margot alk of an engagement or marriage. Neiter nor I Motouc Fat ers arms against , my mine!
Oerribly s seriously, I dont ts at all s off from tely. ay apart until weve reacable age? hy should we ask anybodys permission?
Ive decided to look out for my oerests. to me or make me un I do ells me and makes both of us happy?
Yet I ty, t you can sense my doubt. It must be my y rising in revolt against all ts my duty to tell Fat Im up to? Do you t shird person?
Mucy , but make me feel better inside? Ill bring it up h him.
Oill to discuss see t of just cuddling. Ss deal of trust, but ronger because of it!
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
P.S. e six yesterday morning, because t must im this
time. seven oclock, our doors ill s tighank goodness!
tUESDAY, APRIL 18,1944
Dearest Kitty,
Everyt niger came again to put some ss of iron over t got tely expects large-scale operations in Russia and Italy, as , before May 20; ts, t is to imagine being liberated from this place.
Yesterday Peter and I finally got around to alk poning for t ten days. I told girls, ating to discuss t intimate matters. I found it rat t out of illustrations. imagine t it ually located betual kiss, near ts really a lovely feeling!
I migake my quot;favorite quotes notebookquot; up ime so Peter and I can go more deeply into matters. I dont t is very satisfying, and I he same.
After our mild er too and not too cold, snut tree is in leaf, and here you can already see a few small blossoms.
Bep presented us Saturday s of flos of daffodils, and one bouquet of grape h more and more newspapers.
Its time to do my algebra, Kitty. Bye.
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
EDNESDAY, APRIL 19, 1944
Dearest Darling, (ts title of a movie Kreysler, Ida ust and harald Paulsen!)
could be nicer tting before an open ure, listening to the sun on your cheeks and holding a darling boy in your arms?
I feel so peaceful and safe not o speak; does me so mucurbed again, not even by Mouschi.
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
FRIDAY, APRIL 21,1944
My dearest Kitty,
I stayed in bed yesterday , but since I afternoon and didnt up today. My sore t ;versc;* [* disappeared].
Yesterday, as youve probably already discovered, oday is teented t s yet been declared of age, ty off to, but cant table candidate; perer, Princess Margaret Rose, can have Crown Prince Baudouin of Belgium!
er to t. No sooner side doors been reinforced tole tato flour, and noo pin t surprisingly, th rage.
Perer tailed.
traat imates are also too low.
I to ask take one of my fairy tales, under a pseudonym, of course. But up to noales oo long, so I dont think I have much of a chance.
Until t time, darling.
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
tUESDAY, APRIL 25, 1944
Dearest Kitty,
For t ten days Dussel been on speaking terms y measures since t o go doairs in ter and Mr. van Daan make t round every nig nine-ty, and after t no one may go doairs. e cant flusoilet anymore after eig niger eigs go on in Mr. Kuglers office, and tick at nig measure is t Mr. van Daan ba o blame. food t air, and t t figure out a o keep the windows open.
quot;Ill o speak to Mr. Kugler about t; o me.
I replied t ters of t he group.
quot;Everyto talk to your fat t.”
alloo sit in Mr. Kuglers office anymore on Saturday afternoons or Sundays, because t o be next door.
Dussel promptly and sat t doairs to talk to Dussel, fall for it time. Noo a minimum because Dussel insulted one of us kno must ty awful.
And to t t miserable man t gifts from people you even talk to?
Mr. Voskuijl is going doure of almost a or said ion is o o only God can help him now!
Ive ten an amusing story called quot;Blurry t; eners.
I still on to Margot, as her.
If only Peter doesnt get it. ed on a kiss, and called me call a person t, silly boy! But anyway!
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
thURSDAY, APRIL 27, 1944
Dearest Kitty,
Mrs. van D. about being able to get cougo blo s t s started, alloo look out tc., etc. e couldnt laug couldnt bad, since she soon joined in.
Our recipe for potato kugel, modified due to lack of onions:
Put peeled potatoes ttle dry government-issue flour and salt. Grease a mold or ovenproof disearin and bake for 21/2 ten strae. (Onions not available. Nor oil for mold or dough!)
At t Im reading Emperor Cten by a professor at ty of Gottingen; forty years took me five days to read fifty pages. I cant do any more t. Since t just s going to take me. And ts not even counting t. . . very interesting!
to do in take me, for example. First, I translated a passage on Nelsons last battle from Dutco English.
t ter t, Cus trong, Stanislaus Leczinsky, Mazeppa, von Gorz, Bran- denburg, estern Pomerania, Eastern Pomerania and Denmark, plus tes.
Next, I ants of Rio de Janeiro, Pernambuco and Sao Paulo and, last but not least, t Negroes, mulattoes, mestizos, eracy rate -- over 50 percent -- and malaria. Since I ime left, I glanced t: Jo Casimir I, up to little Margriet Franciska (born in 1943 in
Ottawa).
tudies in ttic, reading about deans, priests, ministers, popes and . . . w was one oclock!
At t . Kitty, tell me quickly, oes does a amus have?
ter t, Charles V.
ter, t test, and the Missouri!
Enougoday. Adieu!
Yours, Anne
M. Frank
FRIDAY, APRIL 28, 1944
Dearest Kitty,
Ive never forgotten my dream of Peter Scill feel mine, and t made up for all t. Once in a never so intensely. . . until last nigting on took her place.
t or amusing, but s only to love and be gentle.
I sat pressed against a ion come over me. tears ruso my eyes; t fell on trickled doo t. Did ice? to s ions unanswered.
At eigy I stood up and to till trembling, I ill Anne number t c to kiss t ogeto stop, oh!
Peter needs tenderness. For t time in he
first time even t pests also , and are transformed as soon as t time in o anot matter, didnt knoo this . . .
tion keeps nagging me: quot;Is it rig; Is it rigo yield so soon, for me to be so passionate, to be filled er?
Can I, a girl, alloo go t far?
t;Im longing so mucime. Im so lonely and no!”
In t normally, in ternoons too, except no in tire day, times before come ruso t is eac, after our last kiss, I feel like running ahe darkness and alone!
And s me at ttom of teen stairs? Brigs, questions and laugo act normally and notice anything.
My is still too tender to be able to recover so quickly from a s nigle Anne makes infrequent appearances, and s about to let ter sers reac of me t no one in my dream! aken urned me inside out. Doesnt everyone need a little quiet time to put to riger, from me?
and Bep. No Im going t myself, I understand s; if I o marry me, be able to marry its so o let go. Peter still oo little cer, too little oo little courage and strengtill a cionally no older ts is een? Am I really just a silly sc; Ive experienced somet no one my age ever has.
Im afraid of myself, afraid my longing is making me yield too soon. ever go riger on? Os so ernal struggle between
and mind. time and a place for bot Ive c time?
Yours, Anne
M. Frank