Before summer ed completely, life in t came to an end in a imagined. One day Goldmund t, o ridge or some ot far aime to time of , or ole a fe enderly, ioned autumn and ture. S s s and s let oo. Ill try to get back to ty er Niklaus. Ill spend ter t spring Ill buy myself a ne must be ten years since I last saw see wo.
An unfamiliar sound roused s, and suddenly all s and desires ently. ted itself; , irritated t s ress. er, still some pity and inued. o see ely torn, screaming and ling rying to rape -up anger, lessness, in a ttacker. ried to pin Lene to ts ranger . It felt tringy, covered until t go of ttling ed, o a feruding from ted man, imes in t till not fully vented; o mangle ther.
Radiant, Lene sat and cs rembling all over and panting, but soget and admiration scruder ttling orted, t beard and tifully to one side. triump Lene sat up and fell against Goldmunds , but suddenly surned pale. Frigill in sick. Exed, so t soon so o t s; one ce eeth.
ture excited Robert enormously. ly ails of t. quot;You broke ! Goldmund, you are a terrifying man.quot;
But Goldmund did not feel like talking about it any more; ing Viktor o o s Robert up, ;No rid of ts too difficult to dig a , t over to t up ones and eart; But Robert turned doed no commerce infested he plague.
Lene e in , but soon s better, got up again, made a fire and cooked t Goldmund sent o bed early. Sion for aciturn; Robert realized it and left er Goldmund to bed. Listening, over Lene. Sless; tor, felt anguiso move on; playing o an end. One ticularly pensive. Lenes look ossed range look. it: pride and triumped from ed eyes, a deep passionate desire to participate in to kill. in a been for t look, , ten Lenes face one day, after a number of years. It -girl face large, beautiful, and experienced anyt made ;One ougo dra!quot; t look o quiver terror.
sleep, and finally up and outside. It one, dros and deep sadness. sorry for Viktor and for today. ted t innocence, t cy of er, left Narcissus, offended Master Niklaus and renounced beautiful Lisbeto camp in track stray cattle, and kill t poor felloones? Did all t greigempt. ared into t clouds, and as ared, s stopped; knoo t as one, a large pale face appeared like far-a looked suddenly its eyes opened and murder. Goldmund slept until the dew fell on him.
t day Lene ay in bed, for to be done: in t ted until t one of ted. Lene felt very sick. Goldmund examined it secret, but Robert became suspicious recovered. stay in t. side, ake t along too: get infected.
quot;Go to ; Goldmund yelled at ;I dont to see you ever again.quot; and pulled o ition. Robert disappeared a t. . o t.
Goldmund said to Lene: quot;Ill stay ;
She shook her head.
quot;Be careful, love. Dont catcoo; you mustnt come so close to me. Dont try so o console me. Im going to die, and Id raty one morning because you me. Ive t of it every morning and been afraid of it. No, Id rat;
In tremely ime to time and napped a little in bet, looked so ed and flabby. For a moment epped outside to get some air and look at t red fir trunks at t s rays of sun; tasted fres; tant ill seps, stretcired legs, and breatiful t ime to say goodbye.
Robert called to . as ster? If it tay. Goldmund s be angry cime.
quot;Go to ; Goldmund sed over to ;Lene is dying, and I too am infected.quot;
t to get rid of Robert. be a Goldmund oo coty; eful, s vanis return. tly.
o Lene, soo fell asleep once more, and in iful cnut tree at ter; as t and beautiful ely remote, deserted region, and o up on so no one. Sammering tle laugo again. Goldmund got up and bent over ter curiosity raced t torting and muddying. Dear Lene, called , dear s coo already to leave me? have you already had enough of me?
o run ao ired, see ne o lie tside every feo breat imes outside, for it to feed and drink er and move around. Once more ood at Lenes bed, murmured tender o ared incessantly into e but attentive, to cimes s, and ing grandmot on ;Goldmund,quot; or quot;lover,quot; and tried to ongue; opped and a s ily at t. en pitied in t: t t inguiser and life. For a out and sat do and o t and let t. After straying a s distance, it lay do, s flank, and slept until t. t into t for t time, stepped be time at t did not feel rigo o let t out, filled into t. truck fire. From t ook not t. In an instant tly. ood outside and cil t beams cras jumped to kill t a piece of it and eat it, to rengt bring o kill t; off into to t. Never before so disconsolate setting out on a journey.
And yet t lay in store for began farms and villages and continued to groerrible as land lay under a cloud of deaty arved on tting, ttered unburied corpses, ts at ty gates t. t o t of range, dreadful ts y corpses unburied or, folloore t and tossed ts. Frigives alone, turned primitive, avoiding all contact ogeted, terrified lust for life, drinking and dancing and fornicating side cemeteries, unkempt, mourning or cursing, outside ty of all, everybody looked for a scapegoat for on tentionally caused it. Grinning, evil people, t on spreading deatracting t on tle . ed of t, unless o flee: eito deators. In one toc o ives back into ty of fear and bitterness, innocent people ortured everyroyed and poisoned; to be no more joy, no more innocence, no more love on earten feasts of te dancers. Everys sound. Often icipated in mad orgies, played te or danced ts in t torches.
afraid. tasted t er nigors fingers clutc , and later in t , against omaced body, , no one could figo let it rage and give in. Goldmund seemed as terested in life, since Lene be, since ated by deat enormous curiosity drove igable, cening to transitory. go out of t passion to participate, to e moldy bread in empty ts, plucked t-ing flo, looked into tares of to tupid eyes of to te, feverise of soup, t s song, and Goldmund h burning passion.
er Niklauss city; ts ed by to t gloh eager senses.
In a cloister ly painted fresco. o look at it for a long time. A dance of deated on a of life, king and bis and earl, knigor, peasant, lansquenet—everyone ook along on musicians played on ing. An unknoer lesson of table end so everyones ear. It ure, and a good sermon; ted t ratly ecure. And yet it ion to die t ed ern and merciless end. But Goldmund sound, not bony and severe, but s rative, moticement to come o life, t only s also deep and loving, autumnal, satiated, ttle lamp of life glo to ot be a o ress; its call ing call, its toucer looking at ted deat drao ter and to everyrils y or curiosity claimed an extra ra day. For t boy arved midget of five or six rid of. Finally a peat diggers ook ted to tle life in terless dog accompanied e out of , but one morning it too strayed off. Goldmund o speaking to tful conversations tence of God, about art, about ts and s very young daugurally grorifle mad during rifle mad, and many ely insane. Perrifle insane—a beautiful dark girl two days.
side a small to remely beautiful, and and talked to ing t beauty. So aseen otoies. So flee but urned in desperation and ly o ing alked to ly, murmured sympatically, and protectively offered o ill o cened to er soo, slept a little, and in tsold s stay alone like t be recognized as a Jeed y elligent eyelids and graceful so be devoured by animals or burned at take. Dark-faced, sened to o cer cinue.
quot;Rebekka,quot; ;cant you see t I dont mean you any to love rig tomorroer, or later, Ill ask you again. Until tect you and bring you food and I touc. You so be sad brings you joy.quot;
But o t to do anyt brougterly and angrily. Sed to do e ter. alked too much.
quot;You,quot; ;dont you see t deat people are dying in every o everytupid people is t of too muc us too, and in t us live a little before it comes to t and be s to eac ! Dear beautiful girl, do come touc to see you and take care of you.quot;
ime. Suddenly ood o court s. and looked at aut ion.
quot;ts ; sred and contempt. quot;ts ians are! First you er bury fingernail oget is done, ter must belong to you and go off I t per ;
As sred, somet touc deep to . to die but to die, to be alloo die, to ther.
quot;Rebekka,quot; ly, quot;per. I am not a good person, alt ood you.quot;
o o a countess, and ; o let ime like speaking to no one. As little as t proud Je for a o ter Rebekka.
of ts of ty of ined to joy and flo o dying. O ts so t;pigsquot; and rot in to save sucinued to live in error and delig tatues. Orained at o come to ly, to let t, to convert to lasting images! ill open and ill curious, but no longing for paper and crayon, for clay and wood, for workroom and work.
Summer tumn or ter. It umn gaiety. Goldmund passed regions in o t. It fell off trees and rotted in t oties came to pillage, brutally robbing and squandering.
Sloretcimes seized be caug table. ed to die, not before tasting tanding once more in a ion. For t time in oo ty toice o stay; no pretty peasant girl retain .
At one point s portal stood many stone figures in deep niced by ornamental small columns: very old figures of angels, disciples, and martyrs, like times. In er in Mariabronn t, t passion; tiful and dignified to a little too solemn and stiff and old-faser, after ed by Master Niklauss s sad madonna at t long journey, one figures too tain contempt and ers neype of art mucense, and animated. Nourning from a adventures and experiences, filled algia for consciousness and neion, oucraordinary porict, ancient figures. Reverently ood before t of long-past days continued to live on, in er centuries, ts of long-since-vanisions, frozen to stone, offered resistance to time. A feeling of admiration rose , and of ed, burned-up life. done for an infinitely long time. o a confessional to confess and be punished.
t no priests. tal, or tamination. ty. Goldmunds steps econe vault. before an empty confessional, closed o t;Dear God, see and little remains. I olen, I en te us t your c die for us? Are ts and angels to guide us? Or are tty, invented stories t ell to c o doubt you, Lord. You ed t in bad order. I reets littered ter ttle; I people suffer and die, and many a y. ely forgotten and abandoned us, are you completely disgusted ion, do you us all to peris;
itepped out tal and sa statues, angels and saints stand all in tiffly folded goed by trict and deaf tood to any request or question. And yet te consolation, a triump victory over deatood in ty and beauty, surviving one dying generation of men after anotiful Rebekka soo, and poor Lene er Niklaus! One day tand up t t meant love and torture to oday, fear and passion, and before later generations, nameless, ory, silent symbols of human life.