o myself I e lig among tals, not yet. I ill, as ever, on torturing complexities. I , no endurable resting place. t be an end of it.

    In t mirror, ood opposite me.  appear to be very flouris niged t t t t er.  laugerrors for s, given a feurity. I looked for a long time at ill kne resemblance to teen aken off o  uries older since t teel  and discussed Kris learning.  doorcars, and slept ered Mozart and Goetime and rents in realitys disguise, t ill. And suppose  ty cill . On then, old harry, old weary loon.

    Bater taste of life! I spat at o splinters. I   so many glo one noer. as not to a masked ball? ogetill to be done. ed me. A strange marriage it o be, and a sorro  bore me on, drearily bore me on, a slave, a wolf-man. Bahe devil!

    I stopped at t door. So far ed yout!

    I opened it.  I saiful picture. On a rug on tiful iful Pablo, side by side in a sleep of deep exion after loves play. Beautiful, beautiful figures, lovely pictures,  breast iful, gleaming teeto t. t over e and delicate skin. I le differently. As it . I only cctle moment in pain and deep  occurred to me. t I o s  t again of turned a little to one side, and from  to  I sae s seemed t it   remember. till.

    For long I looked at  last I urned to go. tretcretc, ake anyturned over a corner of t so t t silently out of tayed te fore ttle parted. s delicate perfume and t glimmered ttle shell-like ear.

    ared and did not kno all ,  o it? I kne ted mouttle aring mouttle red upon a mask of death.

    And from te se arms, t a s riness and desolation, a slo of all life? as it th and space breaking in?

    itared at tony broark  streamed from t it iful, it rang, it vibrated. It was music!

    I once felt t at time a joy?  I once caug and tals.

    Verses came into my  I had once come upon somewhere:

    e above you ever more residing

    In tar translumined ice

    Know nor day nor nigimes dividing,

    ear nor age nor sex as our device.

    Cool and uncernal being,

    Cool and star brigernal laughter.

    t. I did not recognize  t glance, for  pigtail, knee breecook a seat close beside me, and I  of  .  tus and some instruments t stood beside ook it very seriously, tig, and I looked   and nimble fingers and  in admiration of iful and skillful oo, by ttle appre ually doing and of   ed, I took no ever.

    I soon found,   it in going order, and no;Munico Grosso in F Major by ;

    And in fact, to my indescribable astonis and in trumpet spat out,  more ado, a mixture of bronc noise t o, tline of t divine music. I could distinguisic structure and trings.

    quot;My God,quot; I cried in ;? Do you really mean to inflict triump victorious ermination against art? Must t?quot;

    a cold and eerie laug  everyttered by it. orment isfaction tended to tin trumpet. Laugill,  torted, t and on; and laugill, he replied:

    quot;Please, no patardando? An inspiration, eolerant man, let tardando toucride like gods. And let tion of old rate your restless  and give it peace. Just listen, you poor creature, listen  eitic and ridiculous apparatus ttention and you ly does t stupid, t useless and t damnable t takes  distinction, stupid and coarse, lamentably distorted, to boot, and c into space to land  after all t cannot destroy t of t can only demonstrate its oen, ten ill divine; you   admirable symbol of all life. en to radio you are a ness of ting ime and eternity, betly, my dear sir, as ten minutes togets t lovely music  regard into t impossible places, into respectable dratics and into t of ctering, guzzling, yaeners, and exactly as it strips ts sensuous beauty, spoils and scratc and yet cannot altogetroy its spirit, just so does life, ty, deal ure-play of t. It makes its unappetizing tone—slime of t magic orcral music. Everyrudes its mecs activity, its dreary exigencies and vanity bet it be so; and, if  asses, laug it. It little becomes people like you to be critics of radio or of life eitter learn to listen first! Learn o be taken seriously and laug t. Or is it t you ter yourself, more nobly and fitly and ter taste? O. You ful ory of disease out of your life, and a misfortune of your gifts. And you ter use for so pretty, so encing a young lady to stick a knife into roy  rig;

    quot;Rig; I cried in despair. quot;No! My God, everytupid and , Mozart, a stupid, angry beast, sick and rotten. t a times. But as for t was ;

    Mozart lauger. But  kindness to turn off the radio.

    My self-extenuation sounded unexpectedly and to me .  suddenly occurred to me, spoken about time and eternity, I o take s as a reflection of my o t, ion and  influenced by me I aken as a matter of course. But ed t ural t, but even guessed it in advance. Per  at t er.

    quot;; said ;youre a great joker. iful girl really noto desire of you but tab of a knife? Keep t for someone else! ell, at least you abbed one dead. And no to realize try to;

    quot;No,quot; I cried. quot;Dont you understand at all? I evade to pay and pay and pay for to lay my y of anniion.quot;

    Mozart looked at me olerable mockery.

    quot;ic you al you rained to learn it. You are ready? Good. to tor and let take its course ill your  break of da?quot;

    Instantly a notice flashed before my eyes:

    ION

    and I consented ood in a bare yard enclosed by four lemen ts and goed guillotine. My  racted  I . At tepped for t door removed  and all tlemen cleared ts.  and  before :

    quot;Gentlemen, tands before you y of ter.  alone insulted ty of art in t iful picture gallery y and stabbed to deation of a girl ion of a knife; ion displayed tention of using our ter as a meco eternal life and o enter our ter. ty also of being laug of court may not be remitted. Gentlemen, all toget;

    On t;t; all o one simultaneous peal of lauger in full cful laug is scarcely to be borne by the ears of men.

    o myself again, Mozart ting beside me as before. ;You ence. So, you see, you o listen to more of tll do you good. You are uncommonly poor in gifts, a poor block by degrees you o grasp o learn to laug  appres gallo o stab girls to deato be executed y. You , to mortify and scourge yourself for centuries toget you?quot;

    quot;O,quot; I cried in my misery.

    quot;Of course! s a question of anytupid and patic and devoid of , youre tragedian. ell, I am not. I dont care a fig for all your romantics of atonement. You ed to be executed and to ic! For ten times over. You are o die, you co not to live. t you s  of penalties.quot;

    quot;O  be?quot;

    quot;e migore to life again and marry you to ;

    quot;No, I s be ready for t. It would bring un;

    quot;As if t enoug is time to come to your senses. You are to live and to learn to laugo learn to listen to to reverence t be and to laug its distortions. So t be asked of you.quot;

    Gently from beeet;And if I do not submit? And if I deny your rig, to interfere eppeno meddle in iny?quot;

    quot;t; said Mozart calmly, quot;I se you to smoke anottes.quot; And as te from coat pocket and offered it me,  no longer. It  me out of ic eyes and as like taugo play ctle figures as a twin.

    quot;Pablo!quot; I cried art. quot;Pablo, w;

    quot;e are in my Magic ter,quot; ;and if you ime to learn tango or to be a general or to alk , it is al your service. But Im bound to say, ed me a little. You forgot yourself badly. You broke ttle ter and tried to make a mess of it, stabbing tering our pretty picture-y. t  pretty of you. I  least, you did it from jealousy ely, you did not knoo do  you ter. ell, you ter next time.quot;

    ook  once so toy figure and put coat pocket from te.

    Its s and  aroma. I felt ed, and ready to sleep for a whole year.

    I understood it all. I understood Pablo. I understood Mozart, and some. A glimpse of its meaning irred my reason and I ermined to begin ts tortures once more and s its senselessness. I raverse not once more, but often, the hell of my inner being.

    One day I ter  to lauging for me, and Mozart too.