I am truly knoory explained for me tery of ter. Of course, it tempt to steal t of a cure t in line but  imagining t of cers ed as, one by one, eacook its place. In time, I o resent every one of to disregard eacribe. I deliberately tried to forget them all. Did I say a friend of mine had died? I had no friends.

    of one less devil in turbed by Jimmys account of little Oscar Love, and I dreamt t nig about an ironens. On telpiece sits a roters spelling out foreign tides. tains sting out tticed needleernoon, yet despite t, toned boots, a starc, and a ie t looks like a Cmas boicing an etude. From be naked and creeping on t. to teal out from beains, from under ttee; out of to tops on a note, turns tack as one, oget, anotaking out t;as ist los?quot; A trageous av?quot; t as several o restrain ake ;Ic nur meinen So;

    I could still feel ttack. ;; and I ao a damp pilloed ss. Stifling a yaairs t I ired and t tter be good. My moted back t telep s my secretary. I tairs.

    quot;t; I grunted into the receiver.

    S;ess ode in t;

    S imagine the reasons for my awkward silence.

    quot; one. I ;

    quot;Rigess, tess, ;

    quot;Jimmy Cummings said to give you a call. ould you like to meet some;

    e arranged to meet after , and se doions to  ttom of tav.

    Sepped straig to ternoon sunligippling across  of t once, it seems in retrospect, s I greo adore: trical mottling of t temple t flasess said my name and made it seem real.

    e drove a  across o to kiss ination, but in our toicular place to go. tess turned doalked aernoon. Sold me all about o college, old  paroced studies in music. A feside of toopped by Oscars to steal a bottle of apple -note song.

    quot;I used to trangest bird, ary scoget o me. Or anyone. You racted, as if you  no one else could ;

    quot;Im still t ; I told ;Sometimes  or am quiet by myself, I play a tune, imagine my fingers on tes as clear as day.quot;

    quot;You seem somew;

    quot;Not al no;

    ened and c;Strange, isnt it? About Oscar Love, t boy. Or stle boys, alike as t;

    I tried to c. quot;My sisters are t;

    quot;?quot;

    quot;Its been a long time since  w;

    S;Not t boy.quot;

    quot;I o do ;

    tess s ts  you, even en.quot;

    I sincerely wis day.

    quot;And o s playing in your  no; S and kissed me.

    I took  sunset, kissed  ty s  alone in tcelevision. Slippers crossed on ttoman,  buttoned to ted me   do to t  time in years. e ting older, no doubt, but souter t met, but lovely still.

    quot;e, ; S ube.

    quot;Great, Mom, fine.quot;

    quot;See ;

    quot;tess? I ;

    A commercial broke tory, and surned to smile at me between sips.

    quot;Mom, do you ever ...quot;

    quot;s t, ;

    quot;I dont kno lonely? Like you mig on a date yourself?quot;

    S; man  to go out ;

    quot;Youre not so old. And you look ten years younger t;

    quot;Save your compliments for your nurse.quot;

    turned. quot;I t—quot;

    quot; me see it to t;

    tess cer our impromptu picnic, ting side by side on a park bencalking in t sunsurn to me, ness, so t I  old me stories t fed my desire for more stories, so t I mig forget a single line. I loved eacal touc of he way she made me feel alive and fully human.

    On ted nearly oo a picnic along tion in gratitude to all of tors and nurses, all of Little Oscars sces and teaceers—suced relatives, a priest or ti, and table  feast . C dogs. Corn and ermelon trucked in from dotles of tuff, tubs of ice and sodas for ters, a cake specially made in ty for table, iced in red, tering script. ty began at four in ternoon and lasted all nig became dark enoug off a fireo time,   Vietnam and to tion.

    In t. tess looked delicious t evening, a cool smile, and brigs in  all of ors, a bevy of nurses, and far too many firemen and policemen, baked tan and ser ticed  in ted t  I had known him from my former life.

    quot;; e sroduced o us boto compare notes.

    quot;So, Ungerland, ts an unusual name.quot;

    quot;German.quot; ared at the women, who were laughing in an overly personal way.

    quot;Your family from Germany?quot;

    quot;Off t long time ago. My familys been in town for a ;

    A stray string of firecrackers  off in a rat-a-tat of pops.

    quot;Came from a place called Eger, I t like I said, man, t ;

    I told udied ened. t of t a acavs fation as merely tion of my stressful nigy of seeing tesss old beau.

    Jimmy Cummings crept from be of me.  my surprise and pointed to t;; ed, and I couldnt  break into a broad grin. Little Oscar, as usual, appeared a bit dumbfounded by all ttention, but  strangers o kiss ion, teens tossed a ball around  policemen. In t, ime. I missed  cess, ion ree.

    quot;I ; Leold me. quot;, out all nig knos a fever.quot;

    S and toucayed there.

    quot;So ;

    taring at eaco tion.  tess and Brian aring into eacrying to communicate somet saying a word.

    quot;I personally t  some ;

    I ed to tell o s up. Now Ungerlands ouc wever he was saying.

    quot;... ot still you o feel sorry ...quot;

    S and tuned in to Lewis.

    quot;... but nobody believes in fairy tales, rig;

    quot;Youre rigion possible.quot;

    Before o trides ao tars, finding notter to look at. I ignored to , tracing circles on my skin h her nails.

    quot; alking about? Somet;

    quot;e alking about you,quot; Brian said. Oscar looked dotle and grunted.

    I ess a  glancing back. So to a spot aall grass and ferns. Voices carried in t,  ty only made t more exciting. S of s and unbuckled my belt. I could omacs. Someone o  someant I rees. tess climbed on top of me, guiding us togeto frame ared into my eyes as ser and voices trailed aarted, and people said good-bye, good nig. S avert her gaze.

    quot;Do you know w;

    I closed my eyes.

    quot;Do you know w;

    across my face. Someone bleed her pelvis and drove me deep inside.

    quot;tess.quot;

    And I said tle in ting oget to touced, quot;So long, ; from tess giggled, rolled off me, and slipped back into c notice t, for t time in ages, I  afraid of t.