ter of 1892 sky. Joy deserted my , and for a long, long time I lived in doubt, anxiety and fear. Books lost t of t. A little story called quot;t King,quot; to Mr. Anagnos, of titution for t t of trouble. In order to make tter clear, I must set forts connected ice to my teaco myself compels me to relate.
I e tory er I o speak. e ayed up at Fern Quarry later to me ties of te foliage, and it seems t ions revived tory, t I ;making up a story,quot; as c doo e it before ts flo a sense of joy in tion. ords and images came tripping to my finger ends, and as I t out sentence after sentence, I e te. Noo me effort, it is a pretty sure sign t t t stray I regretfully dismiss. At t time I eagerly absorbed everyt a t of aut be quite sure of t is because so many of my impressions come to me thers eyes and ears.
ory o my teac in tiful passages, and my annoyance at being interrupted to ion of a ed. At dinner it o t I could e so well. Some one asked me if I in a book.
tion surprised me very muc test recollection of read to me. I spoke up and said, quot;O is my story, and I ten it for Mr. Anagnos.”
Accordingly I copied tory and sent it to ed t I sitle from quot;Autumn Leavesquot; to quot;t King,quot; ory to t-office myself, feeling as if I tle dreamed birt.
Mr. Anagnos King,quot; and publis in one of titution reports.
ttle on only a s time a story similar to quot;t King,quot; called quot;t Fairiesquot; by Miss Margaret t. Canby, ;Birdie and ; tories it Miss Canbys story o me, and t mine to make me understand t onisterness t suspicion upon t. And yet possibly il I o recall anyt t t I e quot;t Kingquot;; but I could remember not to Jack Frost, and a poem for c;t,quot; and I kne in my composition.
At first Mr. Anagnos, troubled, seemed to believe me. ender and kind to me, and for a brief space ted. to please ried not to be uno make myself as pretty as possible for tion of asons birtook place very soon after I received the sad news.
I o be Ceres in a kind of masque given by t enfolded me, t autumn leaves t and grain at my feet and in my y of t made my heavy.
t before tion, one of teacitution ion connected ;t King,quot; and I elling Miss Sullivan alked to me about Jack Frost and ected in my I did remember Miss Canbys story of quot;t Fairies,quot; and sold empically t saken.
Mr. Anagnos, urned a deaf ear to t least suspected, t Miss Sullivan and I ely stolen t ts of anoto igation composed of teacitution, and Miss Sullivan o leave me. tioned and cross-questioned seemed to me a determination on t of my judges to force me to ackno I remembered ;t Fairiesquot; read to me. I felt in every question t and suspicion t , too, t a loved friend me reproac all to my t, and I could scarcely speak, except in monosyllables. Even t it ake did not lessen my suffering, and I o leave t notice my teacender le girl and they were proud of me.
As I lay in my bed t nig as I . I felt so cold, I imagined I s comforted me. I to me tfulness terness of those sad days.
Miss Sullivan ;t Fairiesquot; or of t ed tter carefully, and at last it came out t Mrs. Sop;Birdie and ; in 1888, t t Breer. Mrs. o find sold me t at t time, o amuse me by reading from various books, and alt remember reading quot;t Fairiesquot; any more t s sure t quot;Birdie and ; t s time before sold ales, and t quot;Birdie and ; hem.
tories tle or no meaning for me t trange to amuse a little c noto amuse recall a single circumstance connected ories, yet I cannot I made a great effort to remember tention of eacurned. One tain, tamped upon my brain, time no one kne, least of all myself.
speak to quot;t Fairies,quot; probably because s once to read quot;Little Lord Fauntleroy,quot; t remains t Miss Canbys story o me once, and t long after I ten it, it came back to me so naturally t I never suspected t it her mind.
In my trouble I received many messages of love and sympat, except one, o t time.
Miss Canby e kindly, quot;Some day you e a great story out of your o and o many.quot; But tortured by t e is not my oime, ter, even to my moterror, and I ences over and over, to make sure t I read t not been for tent encouragement of Miss Sullivan, I trying to e altogether.
I ;t Fairiesquot; since, also tters I e in o Mr. Anagnos, dated September 29, 1891, iments exactly like t time I ing quot;t King,quot; and tter, like many otains p my mind urated ory. I represent my teaco me of tumn leaves, quot;Yes, tiful enougo comfort us for t of summerquot;--an idea direct from Miss Canbys story.
t of assimilating out again as my otempts at ing. In a composition ties of Greece and Italy, I borroions, ions, from sources I ten. I knew Mr.
Anagnoss great love of antiquity and ic appreciation of all beautiful sentiments about Italy and Greece. I t of poetry or of ory t I t ies, ;tic in t; But I do not understand a blind and deaf ced t I cannot t because I did not originate ttle composition is te devoid of interest. It s I could express my appreciation of beautiful and poetic ideas in clear and animated language.
tions al gymnastics. I ion and imitation, to put ideas into pleased me I retained in my memory, consciously or unconsciously, and adapted it. ter, as Stevenson inctively tries to copy admirable, and s ion onisility. It is only after years of t of practice t even great men o marshe mind.
I am afraid I yet completed t is certain t I cannot alinguiss from t I read becomes tance and texture of my mind.
Consequently, in nearly all t I e, I produce sometco make o secs of odds and ends--pretty bits of silk and velvet; but t pleasant to touced. Likeions are made up of crude notions of my oer ts and riper opinions of t seems to me t t difficulty of ing is to make ted mind express our confused ideas, s, inctive tendencies. trying to e is very mucrying to put a Cogettern in mind in t fit t matc rying because ot o ackno.
quot;to become original, except to be born so,quot; says Stevenson, and alt be original, I ime to outgroificial, periions. ts and experiences o trust and ry not to let tter memory of quot;t Kingquot; trammel my efforts.
So t me tion.
My only regret is t it resulted in t friends, Mr. Anagnos.
Since tion of quot;tory of My Lifequot; in tatement, in a letter to Mr. Macy, t at time of t;Frost Kingquot; matter, . of investigation before ed of eig I kne Miss Canbys story o me, and t ates t e o me.
But, e, o ten ting o doubt me, I felt t tile and menacing in tmosp events t. tly retracted , ails of tigation. I never kne;courtquot; o me. I oo excited to notice anytoo frigo ask questions. Indeed, I could scarcely t I o me.
I of t;Frost Kingquot; affair because it ant in my life and education; and, in order t t be no misunderstanding, I forts as to me, a t of defending myself or of laying blame on any one.