idoood as if stunned in tillness of t in  my mind  almost . it even a co grieve properly over my Enisly returned   me: as Sasies of a blissful marriage stubbornly played before my eyes.

    After making conversation errogated me at t door as to  to my room and removed ty-tian gold pieces from ttress, placing trembling fingers. urned to treet, I kneely I’d see Seary, troubled eyes for t of the day.

    I cian Lions at a perpetually smiling Jewis, deep in

    t, I entered t to mention because I’m not fond of it: Yakutlar,  treets almost running, a tall plane tree seemed to reproace , as ted, a street fountain o my ear: “Don’t take matters too seriously, see to your oed an ill-omened black cat licking  everybody, yourself included, suspects you had a hand in your uncle’s murder.”

    t left off licking  sigs bec o tell you anbul cats get whem.

    I found tually sleepy look, not at  in tyard of te a trivial legal question: “ed to testify in court?” I raised my eyebroened to y ans time. “Bearing ness is optional if otnesses are present,” explained t, in situations  is t one bear ness.”

    “t’s just t I find myself in noaking up tion. “In a situation everyone kno, all tnesses ies and avoided going to court  ”it’s only voluntary,“ and as a result trying to ely disregarded.”

    “ell,” said t you loosen your purse-strings a little more?”

    I took out my poucian gold pieces yard, ted by t my dilemma .

    I explained o be instituted.”

    I didn’t even o mention tood at once and said tire neigroubled over te of  tuation ed too long. Instead of searcness required for a legal separation at ted o offer an additional gold piece to t of Surn. After all, for only tness. e immediately agreed. t to fetcher.

    t of our day rat-and-mouse” stories t I’d corytellers in Aleppo coffee out. Because of all ture and trickery, sucories ten up as narrative poems and bound aken seriously even if presented in fine calligrap is, trated. I, on te pleased to divide our daylong adventure into four scenes, imagining eacrated pages of my mind.

    In t scene, turist ougo depict us amid mustaco ter. Meanare deep into ters of ter morning, on guard for an ominous sign s currents. I’m afraid, for example, t I mige ster urist colors t to include somet to tense as my dreams of errifying-looking fiser so ture  assume all is rosy.

    Our second picture ougo sans, tings of tate, tion of European ambassadors, and detailed and carefully composed croeriors of a subtlety  is, ture ougo partake of playful tricks and irony. tly makes an open-” gesture indicating “never” or “no” to my bribe,  to be sing my Venetian gold coins, and timate result of ted in ture: Saneous depiction of sequential events could only be acelligent miniaturist’s cunning facility in page composition. t sees me giving a bribe, notices else tting cross-legged on t read tory, t temporarily given up  grant Shekure a divorce.

    tration s time tation syle, tricate and dense, and colorful clouds sory mig. tually testified separately before tration toget returned from e of destitution  a o look after ually in tears and  for remarriage because sill considered married, and ate s even receive a loan  permission from  even a man as deaf as a stone  ears. tless proxy, , asks about Ser a moment of ation, I immediately interrupt, declaring t eemed fatan, is still alive.

    “Until estifies in court, I’ll never grant he proxy.

    tered, I explained e Effendi ruggling for  o see er divorced, and ative.

    “ does s  to see er divorced from  en, I’d understand if truste for son-in-la pass ah his wish unfulfilled.”

    “t, sir,” I said.

    “ t be?”

    “It is I!”

    “Come noative!” said t line of work are you in?”

    “In tern provinces, I served as secretary, cary and assistant treasurer to various pased a ory of t I intend to present to Our Sultan. I’m a connoisseur of illustrating and decoration. I’ve been burning y years.”

    “Are you a relative of hers?”

    I  ly and unexpectedly into groveling meekness before t  devoid of any mystery, t I fell completely silent.

    “Instead of turning beet red, give me an ans I refuse to grant her a divorce.”

    “Ser of my maternal aunt.”

    “o make her happy?”

    ion ure. turist s t’d be enougo show how much I blushed.

    “I make a decent living.”

    “As I belong to t, trary to ting tunate S t for four years,”

    said t t s surn.”

    t illustration, t is, t to depict t armies of black-ink letters, before presenting me  declaring t my Sacle to e remarriage. Neiting troom red, nor by situating ture  at t moment be expressed. Running back tnesses and oters, daugs, I set out on my return journey.

    After I crossed tly to tlar neige Imam Effendi, o perform ted everyone I sareet of c of jealousy over ttaining, I ran straigo Sreet. aken to edly on terra-cotta s because I  been able to grieve for my Enisear; even so, I kneigters and door of te tree t everything was proceeding as planned.

    I ing intuitively in a great e. I tossed a stone at tyard gate but missed! I tossed anot t landed on trated, I began pelting tones. A  ory ree. Orters I could ,  I took to mean “” and s the window.

    till plenty of time before evening. I ed y garden, aruck by ty of trees and treet. Before long,  like a servant, but rat nearing eaco trees.

    “Everyto  I’d obtained from to add, “I’ll see to t,” but instead blurted out, “he’s on his way. Shekure should be ready.”

    “No matter s a bride’s procession, follo. e’ve prepared a ste of pilaf s.”

    In ement, so tell me everyt I cut o be suce affair,” I cautioned, “; to do not it. All our

    efforts ect ourselves not only from  from te Effendi as  you afraid?”

    “ be?” so cry.

    “You’re not to tell anyone a te in clot tress and lay , not as a dead man, but as ttles of syrup by ters closed. Make certain t  as Se a  t minute, t’s all. ing t te Effendi’s last  be a joyous  a melanc see ourselves troy us, and tand, don’t you?”

    S. Mounting my urn before long, t S to be ready, t er, I er of t I o t t tails came to me, and just as I’d felt during battles from time to time, I ion t I ing me; to turn out fine. rust, do o mind, follouition and your actions .

    I rode four blocks tolar neigo find t-faced preac neig of tyard. I told  my predicament. By te’s time ed a divorce from a  at ed t by tates of Islamic la  a mont I countered by explaining t S for four years; and so, t by ened to add t ted a divorce to allo. “My exalted Imam Effendi, you may rest assured t tacle to true, sion, but being maternal cousins is not an obstacle; ary differences bet, if  to take place before tire neig before God for ts?

    ill preoccupied  te. ook traigo urban and arrive in time to perform tials. o told him.

    No matter  be—even one t t for tural tting roubles and surrendering to tionate le banter of a barber for a prenuptial s? t took me, ed near t, on treet of te Enis and fair Sted years after our c day back. ered anbul barber  dozen years o test neigion o t this meaningful journey called life.

    ter barber raigrembled as  dance across my co drinking and aken on a pink-complexioned, full-lipped, green-eyed boy-apprentice—er filling ter, er from t at ttom of tinned , ting braziers e-e silk coat, someto  t apprentice, tall for o ts oo ted and steamy pleasures of a s  only brougality and prosperity to a bac to his work and his shop as well.

    I’m not certain ime ed into t gently ed t fingers. ited me test of gifts today, as if for free, and after so muc a profound toed Alla an intense curiosity,  of erious balance t sadness and pity for Eniser, I er. I o spring into action  t!

    Flustered, but  a piece of paper. Unable to speak and expecting t, my insides were c as I read:

    If t going to be a bride’s procession, I’m not getting married—Shekure.

    Grabbing S by ted o my lap. I o o my dear Sing, “As you erate barber? So, ed reserve, I .” Still wher was doing.

    “he’s sleeping.”

    I no S, t me and my Enis, of course, suspects ot a pity! I forced a kiss upon , displeased. During t me ility from a distance.

    Since S be leaving o ternal ting. Naturally, I ion to bedeck my ives and  at S gate mounted on t ed tanbul (one ered as . Mounted upon my  day, I knocked at my beloved Se as if poised to take o another life.

    to e, I presented a generous tip. S-red reamers flos, and ss of “May God protect ed a second  t minute, began to play a slo out on its way.

    As our o saunter, I understood t Sacle for tials. Our procession, o tire neig t moment, ially secured everyone’s approval, tralizing any future objections to our marriage. Nevert o c been left to me, I’d ,  telling a soul,  a ion; I’d  and defending terward.

    I led tride my fickle ale ced to ambusyard gate. I noticed rangers stopped and s,  completely understanding all t ranspiring. In t area entionally entered, I figured out t Serfully activated  o me ance in t from tement of t-and-vegetable seller, oo long, joined us for a ferides sing “Praise be to God, may ect you botice scrape a residue in ill, I aining my vigil against a sudden raid, or even a  all disturbed by tion of t

    tood from tters t tected and supported us.

    As I gazed at to ually, it  une in o  saddened me, it  ted saddles, mounted riders outfitted in sable and silk s and doans and carriages full of elderly tering about travagances of days bygone. But So  t ordinarily protected ric matter, t even one servant to lead tree-sions ornamented , gold, silver leaf and polisones. More t, I felt a sadness t tened to fill my eyes ears eacime tful opped playing -goers or servants fetcer from tain in ts of “ered to turn in my saddle and gaze at  beneatinsel and red veil, far from being saddened by all tiful scomings, sened to kno  nor misiful bride, yard and crossed tone ered truck not only by t, but the heavy smell of decay.

    self comfortable in t me from tarily I doubted my senses; but I kneer battle, tattered, boots and belts stolen, and t enc en filled my mouto t of suffocation t I could not mistake it.

    Doairs in tc Enis I o  time as master of the house.

    “As you asked,  tress, dressed clot over tles of syrup beside  smell, it’s probably due to t from tears.

    One or to t so fry tton. From the way she was

    crying, I supposed t Enisaking o  nigly and proudly sitting in a corner of tc sood.

    “Make  concern,” sh.”

    In my ts I e I’d reet t day I’d come to Istanbul. More ts melody. I  music again later, in te lay in e nighe Imam Effendi married us.

    Because ively aired out ts ligell t my Enis alone dead. t-all neignesses. Before ttendance, a nosy old man, concerned about tate of my Enis to lo as soon as ted t from my spot, grabbed my Enised at top of my voice:

    “Put your o rest, my sir, my dear Eniso care for So see troubled.”

    Next, to suggest t my Enisrying to o ending to listen to ently and illed from an entire lifetime, e and approve of ty and eternal devotion I s nobody still thinks I had a hand in his murder.

    I announced to ts still in t ted man  alone. tly began to leave, passing into t room  on ton (at t I could scarcely distinguisepped into triarcmindedly and fully to o to , and gazing sly at So see me, said:

    “Your fato kiss his hand.”

    to -minute invitations and tives motioned to collect tinizing me to t’s content.

    Not long after to prayer ts dispersed, ily partaken of ts, almonds, dried fruit leats and clove candy. In ters, S crying and tivity. Among tony-faced silence in response to t gibes of ttributed to my preoccupation ress, t clearly ingrained in my memory . After bot, o a dark corner of t t. Upon my ongue, o my moutaste t te.

    I, S guests of our  on tossing a last piece of candy into t us to a penetrating silence. e yard, not t noise of a sparroer from t. tiny  of tone ly vaniso t tent presence of tied .

    “C recognized as to announce someth of you.”

    they did so.

    “Black is no’s see you kiss his hand.”

    tly and docilely. “Since t a fatunate co rusting in o Black. “tfully, urely or co you’ll solerance at first, understanding t t ever once obeying t even remember.”

    “I remember my fat.

    “en,” I said. “From noen to you, if t or sest sign of being rude, spoiled or ill-mannered, first  forgive tion of beatings t ip of my tongue. “ever space I occupy in your , t space, too.”

    “I didn’t marry you solely to be your  also to be fato these dear boys.”

    “Did you two ?”

    “O to s doed from a corner. “My dear God, I pray you protect us, my Lord.”

    “You tty young men. Since your fatrol and disregard  beforehand.”

    “And I’ll forgive terward, as well,” said Black.

    “ to a beating,” I said. “Are ood? Your ne, t of battles, from  e fat return; yes, her is now very ill.”

    “I  to go and be  said.

    “If you’re not going to listen, Black eac it means to get a beating from  be able to save you from Black to protect you from me. If you don’t  to suffer your fat to figo sell no lies, perform your prayers, not go to bed before memorizing your lessons and you’re not to speak rougo ease ood?”

    In one movement, Black croucook Or kept ance. I ing urge to embrace ary S, you’re so alone in t of myself as a small c, a c unlike Or a unaccustomed to its tree. I  restrained myself. t planned to say anyt, I said:

    “Come no’s her.““

    t yard . In tance dogs es passed. tly like a black flower.

    “All riger. “Let’s go inside so  catc here.”

    It  only Black and I imidity of a bride and groom left alone after t

    ered our antly as t ranger. e   nobody seemed to be a. e silently climbed tairs, and t onto t seemed someo be doing so for t time. Upstairs, as we were removing our s said:

    “Before I go to sleep can I kiss my grandfather’s hand?”

    “I c no’s clear t evil spirits aken o your room so I can prepare your bed.”

    o t ttress and spread out ts and quilts, s so ttering about s  in a sultan’s palace.

    “ell us a story,” said Or on .

    “Once upon a time t companion was a jinn.”

    “he man blue?” said Orhan.

    “For goodness sake, onig least don’t tell a story about jinns and gs.”

    “ s. “Moter o be her?”

    “Your grandfatect o  nigo look after urn to our bed, don’t I?”

    “er Grandfat. “Doesn’t er my grandfat night anyway?”

    “Are you finis rag,  leto t and o t as if .

    “y t and bring it back. I don’t  S to leave t.”

    “ I leave t. “ ell us a story about jinns and fairies?”

    “Because t,” Or so muc of fear, but imism I aliced in er he’d relieved himself.

    “Mothere jinns here?”

    “If you leave ttempt to see your grandfatch you.”

    “ . “onight?”

    “I’m not sure,” I said. “hayriye will be preparing his bed.”

    “Motill going to sleep  you?” said S.

    “imes do I o tell you? I’ll sleep togetwo as before.”

    “Always?”

    carrying t. From t ions left be on t of a candle, I stared at time trying to fat. trations iful enoug you migake tten memories; and as ing, as you looked at they spoke.

    I’d lost myself in tures. I understood from t of Oriful ed my nose, t oo,  t odd and suspicious Red. As occasionally o take out my breast and nurse er, errifying picture of Deatly and sly breated to eat him.

    “I’ll eat you up, do you understand me?”

    “Mama, tickle me,” hrew himself down.

    “Get off t up you beast,” I screamed and slapped ures. I crations; apparently no o topmost picture ly, yet unnoticeably, crumpled.

    ered y c. I gatures and  to leave t began to cry:

    “Mother? here are you going?”

    “I’ll be right back.”

    I crossed ted across from my faty cusion t  four days discussing painting and perspective  trations on tand, tly suffused t room onis in motion.

    Utterly still,  tures at lengtly and respectfully. est movement, till air, erious illustrations seemed to move too. ings taken on sucy of tree or t of trations? After a  to our being alone in t. Boted to speak.

    “omorro my  I’d said , it appeared as if I were being insincere.

    “Everyto believe in trut he’d spoken.

    ible gesture to drao me, I o embrace o take o my hands.

    Just at t moment, I o my faterror, I ran over, opened our door and looked out: By t t filtered into to see my fatepped into ted by till-lit brazier, reeked of decay.  or somebody else come goed peacefully, bat lig about ts, I’d say, “, dear Fat before going to sleep. Raising ly, ake t  of my er bearer never  for anyto my eyes as o do  my fat, I ed to avoid looking at  time, goaded by ted to see how gruesome he’d become.

    I timidly returned to t of anger. e struggled in t of the candle,

    t  really a struggle but ratation of a struggle. e o eacoucs. t resembled tional state t Nizami o , like S “Continue” hem so hard”?

    “I refuse to sleep in til t devil-of-a-man is found, until my fat,” I said.

    As I fled t. I’d spoken in suc must’ve seemed I ed to  I’d said—pere urned to dust on ch.

    As soon as I   out into the hallway.”

    “Did you go out?” I said, and made as if to slap him.

    “ and hugged her.

    “ go out,” said ire time.”

    I s look  after my fatell s, and t t, taking advantage of tunity, ry to control me. S stop t ry to place to me, to   in divine lig, doing tly at ed S onto my lap and kissed him.

    “I’m telling you, S  out into the hallway,” Orhan said.

    “Get into bed, you t me get betell you tory of tailless jackal and the black jinn.”

    “But you told  to tell us a story about jinns,” said S. “ ell us tory tonight?”

    “ill t ty of the Forsaken?” asked Orhan.

    “Yes t city airs and cory.”

    “I  fall asleep,” said Orhan.

    “o sleep tonig.

    “In tigo your mot. tle feet are these?”

    “Mine,” said S. “here will hayriye sleep?”

    I’d begun telling tory, and as aler which I lowered my voice.

    “After I fall asleep, you’re not going to leave t, Mama?” said S.

    “No, I  leave.”

    I really didn’t intend to leave. After S fell asleep, I   o fall asleep cuddled up  of my second elligent and desirous  room. I’d dozed off s, but my sleep ful. Later, t I remembered about t strange restless realm bet I settled accounts , ter of t disgraceful murderer o send me off to be errifying t, began making a clattering ruckus. In my dream, ossed stones at our ruck ter, ossed a rock at t one point even trying to force it open. Next, o o pound.

    I a.  decide, and so snuggled up  moving, I ed. I’d nearly assured myself t t tyard his also a rock, perhaps?

    I error. But tuation immediately got ate iful corpse? My God, I prayed, protect us. the children were deep asleep.

    aking cuation like ts. In my present condition,  o come to ting someto o Allayard gate open. It yard gate,  it? Yes, absolutely.

    I rose abruptly, grabbed my robe and quitted t even knowing myself w I was doing.

    “Black!” I op of tairs.

    After ily donning sairs. t at t as soon as I stepped out onto tyard’s stone rong ed, I sa tyard . My dearest Allayard gate ood stunned, atremble in the cold.

    I brougick or even a piece of , in te move of its oer, after it appeared to illed, I  squeal. I remember this seems like a dream.

    beneatood t my fatruggling to leave orment bot me at ease and plunged me into agony. If Fat, tormented soul, frantically fluttering about, trying to escape and ascend, so troubled me t I prayed to Allao comfort  o me t ect me and t relief emplating evil just beyond te, let less soul.

    Just t per  ting my fat tside tyard gate, on treet, I noticed h somebody.

    A man alking to Black from trees in ty yard on treet. I o infer t traigo be ive strain, a ening overtone. I listened to tance. it nigo settling accounts.

    I understood t I  I loved Black, but to tell trut I ed o love only Black—for .

    “tomorrourn nesses ill figains of Persia,” imate. You’re committing adultery in there.”

    “S your her’s wife,” Black said.

    “My older brotill alive,” ion. “tnesses who have seen him.”

    “t t  returned after four years campaigning, ted Snesses tell  he’s now a divorced man.”

    “Sricted from remarrying for a mont’s a sacrilege contrary to t to such disgraceful nonsense?”

    “Enisified our marriage.”

    “Did you ogeto poison your Enis h hayriye?”

    “My fatressed by o Sill alive, could also call you to account for your dishonor.”

    “these are only excuses cooked up by Shekure so she could leave us.”

    t ed to eacting and afraid,  being able to restrain myself, I sed too and ran into t knowing w I was doing.

    S ran doairs and fled out into tyard.

    “My grandfather has died.”

    e ed ill sing. Black and s and everyt was said.

    “Mot said time.

    Everyone oo.  tig top of tairs, .

    “You promised you  leave us,” said S, wo cry.

    My mind  to close te. I kissed S on eitigaking in t of o airs.”

    t upstairs. I returned and stood a feeps bee. I assumed  see me. ion in trees

    t lined treet? As it oo. It o convene in t see, but it  ified. it guilty, al sadness t I ing me. My beloved Alla suffering for t a means to reac not?

    I’d killed my fat S  everyt ted an unpardonable sin deserving of torments of o to explain it all. If I o be innocent, if my  red o urned to il y, a  sort of sacrifice—for  oo severe. e patiently listened to iced t t silence amid trees.

    “If you return of your oo true ely different tone, “if you silently pitter-patter back  being seen by anyone, I’ll forget tted, all of it, I’ll forgive it all. And,  togeter year, patiently, for my broturn.”

    as ile in  o me in front of my  I feared it mig him his life.

    “Do you understand?”  from among trees.

    I couldn’t determine exactly o us, Your sinning servants.

    “Because you  be able to live under this I know.”

    I momentarily t t  e. But I couldn’t be certain of anything.

    “Listen to me,  to true. t despicable of men killed him.”

    “ t so?” said s. If o be appropriate, er to him years ago.”

    e  as  detail of everyt  ly forgotten, or noed to forget. Over t I ant Black o me if o begin recounting t.

    “e suspect t you he one who killed him,” Black said.

    “On trary, you . As for me, I ive.”

    “You killed  get married,” said Black. “ ted S your mind. Besides, you e Effendi because o return o live ed revenge. As long as  your hands on Shekure.”

    “Be done alling,” o listen to ttle. It’s very cold  rying to get your attention  you hem?”

    “Black  rations,” I said.

    his?

    one t I sometimes resorted to  course of action is to return noo to o the Koran.”

    “I refuse,” I said, as if o t of t. “I refuse, hasan. No.”

    “ty and devotion to my broto alert t tomorro.”

    “to call you to account any you go to t you’re tan’s c, Enishis very morning.”

    “Very ion.”

    I sorture ted. “Don’t go to t. Everything will become clear.”

    “I orture,” ortured times I understood it

    y could be culled from t. Let torture. I’m going to tell tain of t poor Eniss illustrations. Everybody is talking about trations.  is it about t’s in tures?”

    “them,” Black said.

    “ t opportunity.”

    “Eniss me to finishe book.”

    “Very orture th of us.”

    t. Next, Black and I steps in ty yard. ere tell  being seen, rees and  steps nearing us. I boldly sed, “here was no response.

    “hush,” said Black.

    e rembling from t ating too long, e and tigering my bed ed ures.