Anxiety, ser’s green gazes, needles me ao bed? o t o Emmeline? More t it is raug torments my conscience s slo out of sleep.
knoime it is. Juditir and o my lips. I drink. Before I can speak, sleep overwhelms me again.
time I er my bedside, book in cus ufts of pale y co throne for a joke.
ed her head from her reading.
‘Dr. Clifton emperature.“
I said nothing.
‘e didn’t kno on. ”e couldn’t find a card. e don’t go in muc we broughe garden.“
In t y purple flo, heady fragrance.
‘ hday?“
‘You told us. o tell me your story, Margaret?“
‘Me? I got a story,“ I said.
‘Of course you ory.“
‘Not me.“ I sinct echoes of words I may have spoken in my sleep.
Miss inter placed t he book.
‘Everybody ory. It’s like families. You mig kno t all t drift apart or you migurn your back on t you can’t say you got tories. So,“ sory. o tell me yours?“
‘I’m not.“
S o one side and ed for me to go on.
‘I’ve never told anyone my story. If I’ve got one, t is. And I can’t see any reason to change now.“
‘I see,“ sly, nodding ’s your business, of course.“ Surned ared into liberty to say not is . But silence is not a natural environment for stories. t t you.“ o me. ”Believe me, Margaret. I know.“
For long stretcime I slept, and ake tray a at seeing my leavings, yet sioned it. I ed by t nig pursued me into sleep.
‘?“
: Miss Emmeline ting on in years.
ance to spell it out told me everyted to kno .
As for Aurelius, te. As soon as I ter. Not satisfied, I attempted anoty reed versions t I despaired at myself, I selected one at random and made a neat copy:
Dear Aurelius,Are you all right?
I’m so sorry about o anyone. I I?
hen can I see you?
Are ill friends?
MargaretIt would o do.
Dr. Clifton came. ened to my and asked me lots of questions. “Insomnia? Irregular sleep? Nightmares?”
I nodded times.
‘I t so.“
ook a ter and instructed me to place it under my tongue, trode to to me, do you read?”
iter in my mout reply.
“uts—you’ve read t?”
‘Mm-hmm.“
‘And Jane Eyre?“
‘Mm.“
“Sense and Sensibility?”
‘hm-m.“
urned and looked gravely at me. “And I suppose you’ve read than once?”
I nodded and he frowned.
‘Read and reread? Many times?“
Once more I nodded, and his frown deepened.
‘Since childhood?“
I compelled by ty of his gaze, nodded once again.
Beneato slits. I could quite see frigients into getting to be rid of him.
And to me to read ter.
People look different from close up. A dark broill a dark bro you can see t, ferayed off in tion of emple, pointed to t almost imperceptible flaring of trils, t tc taken it for severity, a clue t little of me; but no from so feo me t it mig be disapproval after all. as it possible, I t, t Dr. Clifton ly laug me?
er from my mout t afflicts ladies of romantic imagination. Symptoms include fainting, ite, los. o in freezing rain t of adequate erproofing, to be found in some emotional trauma. e novels, your constitution been ions of life in earlier, uries. No tuberculosis, no cions. You’ll survive.”
raigo slide my gaze a enough.”
‘I ite.“
“L’appetit vient en mangeant.”
‘Appetite comes by eating,“ I translated.
‘Exactly. Your appetite you must meet it it to come.“
It urn to frown.
‘treatment is not complicated: eat, rest and take tes on a pad, tore out a page and placed it on my bedside table—”and tigue ed. ”I’d like to ask you about t I suspect you like to tell me…“
Stonily I regarded .”
not.”
From ted me and was gone.
I reacion. In a vigorous scraen pages, till end of course.