Ney; a neially untouc and lig period in Goldmunds life y offered itself in all its arts; t games and images. On tsmansions and experiences. iters t, and at ters as to er, colors, varnish, and gold leaf.
Goldmund one of tists means of expression. Quite a number of people are able to feel ty of tly, and to carry to exteriorize to create t of oto communicate t suffer from to ricks and practices of t, and o play te er o dance on Sundays in t easily; it came by itself. ies and disappointments, spoiled a fe imes. But ed till, ter en dissatisfied ;Fortunately youre not my apprentice or my assistant, Goldmund. Fortunately youve youll go back t kno youre a er and not a burgisan migo temptation to ask t of you, ter demands of all erday you slept yard o polis;
ter justifying a reliable, ask fascinated like difficult but demanded time and application. Many of tient parts of craftsmansen completely unbearable to sometimes made o make ance groer, . ience t noin syntax and all ts indefatigably, alt ttom of , te unimportant to t. Love eeled ant courtseem and recognition. In to slave for ive glance from teacrangely enoug learned Narcissus ude for learning, ead of learning, monkue, poincts ers: sex, ers madonna and discovered tist aken a neled doem from?
At first o define it. ly admired Master Niklaus, but in no o trasts in ters nature. t least t among t ter an example.
Beside tist beautiful mouto transform deep experience and intuition into tangible forms, ter Niklaus: a someern and fearful fat, sliger and an ugly servant in ly resisted Goldmunds strongest impulses, o a calm, moderate, orderly, respectable life.
Alted er, altted o question ot o judge of oter a year to t detail all t o be kno Niklaus. ter meant muco ed stay ay, trated ters nature and of Niklaus alloice nor assistant to live in out and equally rarely invited guests to iful daugouc ried to berict, premature abstinence of tincts ill at play, t ter could strangely transform and rejuvenate o travel for a ferange little toing up a carved pulpit, Niklaus inely visited a w less and ill-erwards.
As time on, somety tied Goldmund to ters ers beautiful daugtracted ly. to see o t determine of ure. overlook t t ter never again invited ried to make any meeting . Lisbet precious, sered young girl; o ed to marry o come from a good family, be a member of one of the higher guilds and probably have money and a house besides.
Lisbety, so different from t of t racted Goldmunds eyes t first day. t deciprange t violently attracted also made ated calm and innocence, y cesy and ease lay a reason move annoyed and provoked ly familiar to to create a statue of t an a a young virgin. en dreamed of seeing iful, immobile face distorted in ecstasy or pain, of seeing it unfold and yield its secret.
t did not altogeto o capture and re-create artistically, but again and again it dre o memories, after ion s of love, during o deat ler. traits and colors o an impersonal moter Niklauss madonnas poion t seemed unsurpassable to Goldmund, one day, e t, , most c ant transformation and gro, eac, eac it and fass traits. to be able to make visible some day to represent any specific tself, times ; often it appeared in
t o express, except t ed it to simate relationsasy to pain and death.
Goldmund learned a great deal in tsman; occasionally, beside ry modeling successful , seductive figure of little Julie, Lydias sister. ter praised t did not fulfill Goldmunds in metal; oo unce and o become its godfatarted atue of Narcissus, in raying tle Joed to include to execute and on ants e some time, leaving touco ter.
Goldmund tatue of Narcissus. ime off track, and distracted and grumpy over at . Joures came to meet of ter and greater purity, ion and y. During t of time. Again t, ligal feeling in o o be guided by anding ting an image of s o step out of ting transitions of life, to express the pure image of his being.
times felt rue art came about. ters unforgettable madonna ed in ter again and again on many a Sunday. tatues airs in ters foyer o being in t, sacred manner. And one day t ot e suc, sucial images, untainted by y. But it t ed: pretty, delig mastery, t lovers, t of coainly, but not sacred, not true images of t only by Niklaus and oters—, in spite of tsmans playto t in , in ist can put sucty t of delig of ambition and dissipation.
time, ist in order to make little angel figures and similar frivolities, no matter iful. Perisans, tisfied souls mig not o and craftsmansorms. broug, pleasantness, only small joys. y croask for ter er Niklaus accept all tants? en for o tors and prelates al from icks in to be a famous artist flooded ed to pile up money, not for any great ac or pleasure but for er, iful girl could not come to kno as well in a .
irred deeply in Goldmund in tions; ttled, tors. At times craft and master o en came close to running aer angrily regretted aken on t, unreliable felloried ience to tmost. t Goldmunds life, about o money and o make ic; aken a gypsy into ranger. Nor escaped eyes t looked at er Lisbeto be patient, it out of a sense of duty or out of fear, but because of t. Joatue, quite admit to er co of t, ser tiful, yet clumsy dra time. tenaciously, unerringly, Goldmund fasatue of ter did not doubt t it erruptions, t it one of ants o make, a even great masters did not often accomplise of ter disliked in fits of rage— t. John.
During t t of t grace and boyis iful, strong man, muctle popular ly cer years. orld and y, gentle, pious, er student o o resist a o test . In spite of rong sense of beauty, of tle beauty ed, y alone, but also a constantly vigilant curiosity. As soon as o a ed iful to ely. Experience taug every iful and able to bring joy, t a mousy creature ion, t ted ernal, mourningly s tenderness, t eacs and o unlock t respect, all y ure. But not every eful too and prettiest; some ied o trongly after ten niged after t time and forgotten.
Love and ecstasy o ruly gave life its value. Ambition o distinguisempt for t sacrifice for t not. omen, t on , and accesses of melanc gre of t desire ransitory, fleeting experience. ts brief, longing flame, its rapid extinction—to o contain to o t all transitory o love. tasy, at tension, is certain t it must vanis breat loneliness and abandonment to melancain t it to t side of life. Deatasy ernally sernally sy. t became a parable and a sacred symbol to him.
Not o o desire and to deat penetrated by ood terpart, and tatue of St. Jo visible. o t of tears; reac become like him.
Secretly Goldmund also sensed ist meant to ense love of art could also occasionally turn to red. s but ions, make many different distinctions: art migart in utter sensuality and lead to total abstraction; t mige in pure concept and end in bleeding fles t ruly sublime, not just a good jugglers trick; t ernal secret, like ters madonna; every obviously genuine inct and pure spirituality. One day atue, if he succeeded in making her.
In art, in being an artist, Goldmund say of reconciling contradictions, or at least of expressing nely t in ure. But art just a gift. It could not be cost a great deal; it demanded sacrifices. For over t essential need, t next to desire and love: ing in a limitless —all t judge e, and overly independent embittered er nor ure nor need demanded itself.
Art, sucual goddess in appearance, required so many petty tools, and patience. o toxication of to be made again and again, ceeth.
Part of tures, s ituted a small revenge against tary order of life. All rengture steamed out of ttack in a dark side street, on o see a girl or on tick, tning sness to pass from defense to attack, to press ting enemy to o land a fist under ttle ily—all tasted good to Goldmund and cured , too.
All ty to do, and it all made sense as long as . Jo took a long time. t delicate sient concentration. atue in a small s iculously clean, gently brus sa from s ood in front of atue for a long time, an experience remain unique. A man on ted, a er t c feel sucions in t: a deep reverence, a great earnestness, and at time a secret fear of t he days.
years, clad in tiful, favorite disciple, stand listening ed face and an expression of stillness, devotion, and reverence t unknoo tiful, pious, spiritualized face, to t seemed to be floating, to t despair o traits mig its pitc suffered no discordant note.
Goldmund stood and contemplated emplation began as a meditation in front of t to it ended in a tempest of sorroiful disciple o part omorro seemed to it to say fareoday not only to . Jo also to ter, to ty, to art. to do any more; no images filled
yet accessible to be accessible for a long time. So polistle angel figures nos?
ore o ters ood at til Niklaus noticed to him.
quot; is it, Goldmund?quot;
quot;My statue is finisake a look at it before you go up to eat.quot;
quot;Gladly. Ill come rig;
toget. Niklaus seen t Goldmund undisturbed at attention. iful and ligern eyes grow happy.
quot;It is good,quot; ter said. quot;It is very good. It is your assistants piece, Goldmund. No t ter for it; you deserve it.quot;
Goldmund did not value t ion ters , and he was glad.
. Jo;ty and lig is grave, but filled t t lig.quot;
Goldmund smiled.
quot;You kno I did not portray myself in t my dearest friend. It is ligo ture, not I. It really I ue; into my soul.quot;
quot;t may be so,quot; said Niklaus. quot;It is a secret o being. I am not particularly I must say: I fall far be in craft and care, but in trut suc be repeated. It is a secret.quot;
quot;Yes,quot; Goldmund said. quot; it, I t: you cant make t again. And ter, t Ill soon go back to ;
Astonis ern again.
quot;ell speak about t. For you, to run a take t noon youll be my guest.quot;
At noon Goldmund appeared and o be invited to ters table. As airs to t atues, ime, t first time o tiful quiet rooms .
Lisbetoo, aining tue.
time sit in silence alked. Boto oasts. Goldmunds eyes y to study carefully tiful girl inguisly contemptuous face, and conceal reated eously, but disappointed t s blused. Again ly to make tiful immobile face speak, to force it to surrender its secret.
After tatues in ternoon rolled ty, an aimless idler. ly er, beyond all expectation. not make ive taste?
ed a to ter er and seemed unted ter catue delig iful t. Jo ery, and superior in craft, in free, gravity-less floating. No only an artist sees, soft delicate movements in ties in tion of tive utilization of ties o to ty and dept ties of ely. In order to be able to create a only to carry images in ones soul; one also o rained, practiced eyes and er all o place ones entire life at t, at to be able once to make sometiful, somet only been experienced and envisioned and received in love, but also executed to t detail e mastery? It ant question.
Late at nigurned to ty on a tired avern still stood open. took bread and o t, not at peace ions, full of doubts.