During t days Goldmund lived in ter, in one of t cells. t , rative buildings t surrounded tplace.
t onis. Outside t no one kne trees of tyard kneed rosebusorks nests on tory and granary roofs. From every corner of , t of oo ream bets narroone floors, t to lock up. Beside tone gutters, into ory, till sprouting, cranes-bill and plantain, and tree in till s far-reac more tinkling of ttle sc er students came tumbling doairs into tyard. ty too, once really been so young, so clumsy, so pretty and childish?
Beside ter ruck tention and became more and more important to il it sloself to t udent days, and a , udent. ts of tings, of tone and ars, in tals, and alt been ty of t ed tone Mot, and , but only noiful it and most successful . t placed t ood bets natural , ced, lived, t and taugs, from t, and everytogetree.
Goldmund felt very small in t migy, and never did Jo quietly friendly order. t be tremendous differences of cer bet Jo Daniel, but eacy, t, tence, received y from it, sacrificed o it. t made to one anotly robes.
In ter of er, Narcissus greall in Goldmunds eyes, alt a cordial friend and . Soon Goldmund hardly dared call him Narcissus any more.
quot;Listen, Abbot Jo; o ;Ill o get used to your neually. I must tell you t I like it very muc feel like making a general confession to you and, after penance and absolution, asking to be received as a lay brot you see, t and I a lay brot I can no longer bear to live next to you like t be or do anytoo o you can see if it c;
quot;Im glad to ,quot; said Narcissus, pronouncing ;You may set up your er at your disposal immediately. Please use any material you find of all t brougside. And no you and your intentions! You must give me a little time to express myself: I am a sco try to illustrate tter to you from my o; I en did so patiently in earlier years.quot;
quot;Ill try to follow you. Go a;
quot;Recall udent days, I sometimes told you t I t you ist. In t you mig; in your reading and ing you ain dislike for tangible and tract, and a special love for ic qualities, appealed to tion.quot;
Goldmund interrupted. quot;Forgive me, but arent ts and abstractions oo? Or do you really prefer to t imagine anyt can one t imagining anyt;
quot;Im glad you ask! Yes, certainly one can t imagining anytsoever in common. t in images but s and formulae. At t point of our frequent quarrels as young men; for you, told you t you made to be a told you t ter in ttention and Ill explain it to you. If, instead of immersing yourself in t ed evil. Because you ics are, to express it briefly and some detac t all. t artists: poets verse, painters brus sound. ted, noble minds among t t exception unoo, migead of and aken possession of tor and a master, instead of being stranded in discontentment as a t;
quot;Im afraid,quot; said Goldmund, quot;Ill never succeed in grasping t ;
quot;O noen: tries to determine and to represent ture of t reason and its tool, logic, are incomplete—telligent artist kno o express perfectly t nature of an angel or a saint. Still try, tist, eac and may not do otries to realize s ure and only meaningful ts o you: dont try to imitate tic man, but be yourself, try to realize yourself.quot;
quot;I understand somet you say, but mean to realize oneself?quot;
quot;It is a p, I cant express it in any ototle and St. t is t of all concepts: perfect being. God is perfect being. Everyt exists is only , is becoming, is mixed, is made up of potentialities. But God is not mixed. entialities but is total, te reality. ransitory, entials; tion for us, no complete being. But ial to deed, from possibility to realization, icipate in true being, become by a degree more similar to t and divine. t is means to realize oneself. You must knoist and atues. If suc it to pure form—tist, realized t;
quot;I understand.quot;
quot;You see me, friend Goldmund, in a place and function o realize myself. You see me living in a community and a tradition t corresponds to me and furter is no is filled ions. Still, a decently run cloister life is infinitely more o men of my nature t from a merely practical point of vieice and teacask, offers a certain protection from t e of ty, you found a o become an artist, and I admire t a great deal. Your life ;
t, and also o c, errupted ;Ive been able to understand most of ed to tell me. But till cant get t images, and t imagine anyt;
quot;ell, youll be able to understand it ics. kind of images do figures contain? Or t kind of images does an equation contain? None. ic or algebra, no image e a formal task t you ;
quot;ts rig using my imagination, I can let myself be guided by plus and minus, square roots, and so on, and can solve t is—I once could, today I could no longer do it. But I cant imagine t solving sucudents brain. Its all rigo learn o count. But Id find it meaningless and c ing and covering paper ;
quot;You are tinuously solves problems a teac ions; t itious space matically before be can risk facing tself.quot;
quot;ell, yes. But attacking t does not strike me as an occupation on unless I can imagine real space, say tars; noudying and measuring star space does not seem an unask to me.quot;
Smilingly, Narcissus interrupted: quot;You are actually saying t you a ration of t to tical, visible unities to apply our to do so. tance, applied ts of imes to o eac every instant. But o apply somet learned and practiced it before? And tist also constantly exercises ion, and raining, even if it finds realization only in a fe dismiss tion only its application! tradiction is obvious. So let me go on ts by ts, as I s by your less noable because till obstacles bet of t to omatically t ;
Goldmund er.
Beside tyard gate y and suitable for a er, all to be made after precise plans of terials ers o bring ies, a long list. ed all timber at ters and in t, co t beo dry under a roof o do ely cogetood trougstone, making all t or straigting knives, t of almost ty, became Goldmunds friend. erest and curiosity. Goldmund promised to teaco play te, ry carving. If at times Goldmund felt rater and in Narcissuss presence, o recover in timidly and admired en asked o tell Master Niklaus and ty. Sometimes Goldmund o tell stories. toniso find ting like an old man, talking about travels and adventures of t, to begin.
Recently ly and aged far beyond to no one, since only one man tled life may already rengt ts many ivity at ts residence and t gruesome nigle cellar o s, and several signs of tayed ain fatigue inside t, a slackening of desire and curiosity, a gray sions for ions s at t ters, at otimes for ed, smiling and dreaming, given over to apathy and indifference.
tion of ant to o make ed to pay for ters ality, to be an arbitrary piece t one placed just any o blend ecture and life of ter and become part of to make an altar or per, but tead. tory, from . Goldmund decided to carve for teps to tern and for tern itself a set of , free-standing. o t, .
mas ook on anoto er; nobody saudents at ted trolled under took ten visited as a student. And ant Erico enter ain days Eric of him.
For t t o be in ts, one representing t, tairs, gro of a sturdy oak trunk and , o represent creation, images of nature and of triarcs. t, t, ures of tles. One of ts o raits of blessed Abbot Daniel; anotin, atue of Luke o eternalize Master Niklaus.
obstacles, greater ticipated. And tacles gave t ant ruggled as firmly and gently as a fisruggling pike, and eacance taugive. everyt ter; forgot Narcissus. Narcissus came a number of times, but was only shown drawings.
t t he hear his confession.
quot;I could not bring myself to confess before,quot; ted. quot;I felt too small, and I already felt small enoug of you. Noo submit myself to t;
Noo task and did not to a moment longer. t meditative ter, t of all tories Erico see ain order and clarity.
it solemnity Narcissus received lasted about tened to tures, sufferings, and sins of ions, never interrupted, and listened passively also to t of tted t ice and goodness ruck by many of terrified, imes come to periso smile, touc ure , because of impious ts wo .
to Goldmunds surprise, to ment even, t take ual sins too seriously, but reprimanded and punis in praying, confession, and communion. o live moderately and cely for a monto o say thers and one hail Mary every evening.
After to take tly. I dont knoill remember t text of to follo o its meaning. I icles oday, and give you instructions as to to your particular attention. You are to speak and time you catc reeling off ten t, you are to remember tation, and you are to begin all over again and speak to let ter your , as I am about to s;
iful coincidence, or enougo ac, a period of fulfillment and peace came for Goldmund from t made ensions, isfactions of conscientiously executed spiritual exercises, relaxed after tements of tire being submitted to a lifted of tion of tor and included tles of o be overcome in solitude, and o give it all tation let urn to innocence again and again. Still ience of o ecstasy, o to deep, cool er t washe arrogance of despair.
It did not alimes become calm and relaxed in ter burning imes times, as ried to immerse ortured by t t saying prayers er all, perriving for a God or could not it to his friend.
quot;Continue,quot; said Narcissus. quot;You promised; you must keep your promise. You are not to t s completely during to speak ticles, and give yourself up to t te or sing. You dont pursue clever ts and speculations te one finger position after anotly as possible. s o pray.quot;
And once more it , avid ego extinguisself in ed order; again ted above ars.
it satisfaction, t sainue er er s.
In time Goldmunds airs: creatures, plants, animals, and people. In t stood Noaure book of praise for tion of ts beauty, free in expression but directed by an inner order and discipline. During all t Erico execute small tasks and t of not becoming an artist on certain days not even o enter took ime ry, o urned out successfully, ask Erico release t rained as assistant.
tatues of ts on days, t seemed to successful bore traits of Abbot Daniel. very muced kindness and purity. isfied atue of Master Niklaus, even t most of all. t seemed to be brimming over y plans for creation and yet te aility of creating, and mourning for a lost unity and innocence.
Daniel ues under a clot one figure in t. t to Narcissus, and iently until t day. At took o see tatue.
Narcissus stood and looked. ood taking ime, examining ttention and care of tood berying to dominate tempest in . quot;O; , quot;if one of us does not pass test, it good enoug understand it, all my s value. I sed longer.quot;
Minutes felt like o of time of ing.
Narcissus turned to ely relieved. In flo timid smile on t face of mind and a full of joy.
quot;Goldmund,quot; Narcissus said very softly, expect me to become an art expert all of a sudden. You kno. I can tell you not your art t you find ridiculous. But let me tell you one t first glance I recognized our Abbot Daniel in t, and not only also all t to us: dignity, kindness, simplicity. As blessed Fatood before our yoution, ands o us t makes ttable to us. You , my friend, and not only Daniel back to me; you ely, to me for t time. No it no longer; I cannot. O t;
It in t o t. Goldmund sa ching.
quot;Yes,quot; ly, quot;I am nos time to go and eat.quot;