For tice. In trade for taircase ed a small paradise. itasy rees, brus of ting primitive garden, ed several scenes from triarcrious life errupted. tlessness or boredom made ed . But ryside to breat, or visit a peasants daug, or lie for aring into ted reetops, into ting er a day or ttack ly, tenderly coax a mouted beard. Beside Ericatues and en to t times er. onis. Everytless, stubborn, boyis o flo greion, a small surging ainly no less heology.
Pensively ;Im learning a great deal from you, Goldmund. Im beginning to understand is. Formerly it seemed to me t, compared to t could not be taken altoget someture of mind and matter, since tion of ternal to ter pulls o transitory, rive aoo elevate meaning. I did pretend, out of , to in eem, but actually I and looked do. Only no t t even t one. It is my ay on it. But I see t you, on te road, on t of being just as deeply and can express it in a muc to do.quot;
quot;Noand,quot; Goldmund said, quot;t I cant conceive of ts images?quot;
quot;I ood it. Our tant process of converting to abstractions, a looking atempt to construct a purely spiritual constant, t mortal to your , and in tality s look ao it, and by your sacrifice to it raise it to t, a parable of eternity. e try to come closer to God by pulling to ion and re-creating it. Bot, but art is more innocent.quot;
quot;I dont kno in overcoming life, in resisting despair, you to succeed better. I opped envying you for your learning, dear friend, but I do envy your calm, your detac, your peace.quot;
quot;You s envy me, Goldmund. t you imagine. O not anyt lives antly and never leaves us. t must be ruggles as Abbot, my struggles in t you dont. You only see t I am less subject to moods take t for peace. But my life is struggle; it is struggle and sacrifice like every decent life; like yours, too.quot;
quot;Lets not quarrel about it, Narcissus. You dont see all my struggles eit knoo understand t it aken a in its place. turn to a bare all t I did not ac even see, and inside Ill feel as robbed and empty as t;
quot;t may be so,quot; said Narcissus. quot;Neitand tely in suc tion all men of good art out again, and eacime to be made ane;
A feer Goldmunds big s place. An old experience repeated itself: , judged, praised; and and ood empty and ed to table for a festive meal at fiserest and joy of Narcissus, who praised him and honored his work.
A near for to ter and in . For tar Goldmund ed to make a statue of to eternalize in table figures of iful fearful Lydia, ts daugtle importance to seemed suitable to ants project. If Eric partner alone ill close to . itar and . Often Goldmund left for several days, and Ericified t, atue of Lydia, to roam again.
roubled. Since tion of less and dissatisfied. No of Master Niklaus and led master in , but unfree and unyoung. Recently a small adventure : on one of girl named Franziska, o cs of seduction ened gladly to ting, lauged at s time , to a young forgotten. Franziska
because of a feure gray rat rangely similar to Master Niklaus. itious and tame; ic animal. norustfully for t scent. And after and caroused, sometibly back. ting for responsible for tar ant Ericion: after ted to go on a trip and try good to live in a cloister for so long, mig not for elligently ood an artists all t—cting, tenderness, games, love, pleasure t—did not flouris one needed tle gray and serious tle aminated; it into of a trip consoled to o be free sooner. And as Lydias figure gradually came torict folds of ook algic falling in love iful s time, love, travels, ly te image, felt it one tender memories. It o form ifully arcoo, are at tion and loving respect w.
finiso t. Narcissus said: quot;t is a beautiful measures up to it. I must confess to you t I you on several occasions during t mont you less and disturbed, and imes t atue. I am ;
quot;Yes,quot; Goldmund said, quot;tatue turned out rat noen to me, Narcissus. In order to make tatue, I needed my entire youts is t ake a good long vacation, I dont kno o me. Can you understand t? ell, yes. You kno, and Ive never taken any payment for my work ;
quot;I often offered it to you,quot; interrupted Narcissus.
quot;Yes, and no it. Ill into t be sad. It is not t I dont like it be better off anyake. ill you fulfill my wis;
t it no more. Goldmund fit and boots, and as summer dre ouc mig e o be slige touco to arrange. Alt deeply sad about times smiled a little about Goldmunds being in love, about being able to tear atue.
But one day Goldmund surprised o take . In o Narcissus to say goodbye. ime ago. Noaking came o boted feel in .
quot;ill I ever see you again?quot; asked Narcissus.
quot;Oty nag does not break my neck, you ainly see me again. Besides, me, t be anyone left to call you Narcissus and cause you to fear. Yes, and dont forget to keep an eye on Eric no one toucatue! S remain standing in my room, as I to let t of your ;
quot;Are you looking foro t;
Goldmund blinked.
quot;ell, I o it; ts quite true. But no Im about to ride off, it feels less amusing t t me, but I dont like going a please me. It is like an illness; young . Master Niklaus oo. ell, lets not c about useless stuff! Bless me, dear friend; I to leave.quot;
he rode off.
In s, Narcissus ly concerned about range and lovable person ormy and insatiable, a gro terfly, commit nes, of suco fear for , deep do pleased tubborn c to tame, t again to slers.
Every day ts ts returned at one time or anoto itude and and self-reproac pertle o be ot? said muc it, per enougell if not o keep him?
But only been enric ainly good t s to er life, ly office, ructed t edifice—all ten been so its foundations by . Certainly, seen from t of vieer, from t of viey, ter, rigeadier, more orderly, more exemplary. It rict service, an unending sacrifice, a constantly reneriving for clarity and justice. It er tist, vagrant, and seducer of seen from above, ion of teness from dirt and blood, of o pation any better ted to live a regulated life, ies indicated by prayer bells? ed to study Aristotle and Saint to knoo extinguiso flee t created incts, y for sin, lust, and despair? tions around s circled pero lead a Goldmund-life, more courageous, more noble pero abandon oneself to tream of reality, to co commit sins and accept tter consequences ratside t a lonely -garden, strolling sinlessly among ones sered flos and along torn so suffer sun and rain, o play h suffering.
At any rate, Goldmund a man destined for o t dept and blood, becoming small and common, killing t darkness extinguis and tive force inside to ic life, and neit for ill-life images, radiant o being under Goldmunds stained ent faces glo, t plants and flole, proud, or sacred gestures, since t an abundance of ligs of God d in t of tist and seducer.
It o seem superior to Goldmund in tions, to oppose ellectual order to every small gesture of one of Goldmunds figures, every eye, every mout not more real, alive, and irreplaceable t tist, and misery, fasriving for innumerable people, contemporary and future, figures to anguisless people urn for consolation, confirmation, and strength?
Smiling and sad, Narcissus remembered all times since taugefully ed, alting Narcissuss superiority and guidance. And tly, empest and suffering of ructions, no explanations, no autic, ened life. er discipline, ics!
tions around urned. Just as ervened roug brutally, in Goldmunds youturn, o doubt and self-examination. been given back to imes over.
t ime for t. eeks passed. tnut tree its blossoms; tgreen beecurned dark, firm, and orks long since crance toaugo fly. tayed aant o on Plato, an excellent grammarian, and one or tle t souls. But again noh longing.
Often to to encourage tant Ericinued tar and eagerly aed ers return. Sometimes t unlocked Goldmunds room, ed tayed old ory. But everyt t. Perrayed and left , truer t faitaken il finally, perer many years in oucatue of a girl and captured in enderness, admiration, and longing of tory, too, in tern pulpit in tory. It ory of a inctive being, of a s ers ran, yet emerged from them.
Narcissus struggled. ered betray ed in no service. But ion of , o God and to taco his friend.