Lindo Jong

    I once sacrificed my life to keep my parents promise. to you, because to you promises mean noter can promise to come to dinner, but if sraffic jam, if ss to ce movie on tV, she no longer has a promise.

    I c come. to come back and marry t;Promise! Promise! , my promise is as good as gold.quot; to t  come back.  is only fourteen carats.

    to Ceen carats isnt real gold. Feel my bracelets. t be ty-four carats, pure inside and out.

    Its too late to c Im telling you t your baby. I  someday s;t. Ill never forget you.quot; But later, s  sher.

    In to o marry raigs to cry. quot;Yes,quot; s last, and they marry forever.

    t my case. Instead, tco my family old me t all. It ime, very  and dusty outside, and I could rees in our orcs and my brotting in my mot sticky arms. I  of me floated a small bird  of me ery quot;s; sounds. o recognize t, range to taiyuan peoples ears.

    t my face  talking. tery voice ed face t ing. tree trunk. S at me, t ted lady.

    Of course, noree-trunk lady caitai, to marry. No, its not true  depends on  h a good clean color.

    tc me: quot;An eart marriage combination.quot; Sted my arm and I pusaitai  tc;Not so, not so. Srong o be a ;

    And taitai looked do me rate my ts and see my future intentions. I  ootaring at me like t of eeto swallow me down in one piece.

    troto aitais son,  a baby, one year younger tyan-yu—tyan for quot;sky,quot; because ant, and yu, meaning quot;leftovers,quot; because yan-yu over of . But s urn ttention to take ead. So tched him carefully, made all his decisions, and he became very spoiled.

    But even if I ting sucer. t  to give up stupid old-fasoms. In oties already, a man could cs permission of course. But  off from type of ne. You never ter in anoty, only if told stories of sons s out into treet. So, taiyuanese motinued to cers-in-lao their graves.

    Because I o treating me as if I belonged to somebody else. My moto me o my face too many times, quot;Look aitais daug.quot;

    My mot treat me t love me. Sing back ongue, so s wis was no longer hers.

    I ually a very obedient c sometimes I  or tired or very ill. t;Suc  you and our o make my face uglier.

    quot;Its no use,quot; my mot;e ract. It cannot be broken.quot; And I would cry even harder.

    I didnt see my future il I side of taiyuan. My family lived in a modest tory  t, and t on a little eps to  it  centuries of  o stle c oaiyuan. ter, t-moving spots. In t ill, h cold.

    O to t many fis slippery creatures plucked  even after tted tails  pan.

    t  sale boy.  off,  a baby.

    Later I . And o eat everyto urning inky pickle and not a s cake.

    So I didnt ant love for my future elevision today. I t of troublesome cousin. I learned to be polite to to aitai. My motoai and say, quot; do you say to your mot; And I  knourn to my real mot;Excuse me, Ma,quot; and turn to aitai and present tle goodie to eat, saying, quot;For you, Mot; I remember it tle dumpling I loved to eat. My motold aitai I s steamy sides  onto te.

    My life cely  destroyed all t my family ed t year and made to come. Even our op of ttle ory, ure icky mud. tyards tered ed trees, broken bits of walls, and dead chis mess.

    You couldnt go to an insurance company back ted your oies. My fat to move to uso t t for me, ely. I e from my family and live he huangs.

    t pot no truck o come to ture and bedding o be left beo te practical. t  stop my mot of a tablet of red jade.  it around my neck, sed very stern, so I kne disgrace us,quot; s;Act ;

    t next to touc  time I realized tter position tand ai and tyan-yu had such long noses.

    one-and-eoring supplies, ots and t buildings stood the main house.

    I ared at t ions. It  really so old or remarkable, but I could see it ories, one for eacion: great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, and c ily built and tions ing too many opinions. t level  of river rocks ogetrao give it toop level opped ile roof. to make tant, to t door. ted red, as aitai,  the roof.

    Inside, t kind of pretense. t floor, s. tained tables and c of red lacquer, fine pillo style, and many precious t gave tige. t of table and noisy s of ty relatives. I tion t in o make two.

    No big celebration ai didnt ing me in t floor. tyan-yu  to greet me. Instead, aitai airs to to tc usually go. ts. So I kneanding.

    t first day, I stood in my best padded dress at table and began to cables. I could not keep my eady. I missed my family and my stomac bad, knoermined to s ai could never accuse my mot  from our family.

    As I  ooping over table gutting a fis me from tell aitai. So I gave a big smile and sed, quot; a lucky girl I am. Im going to  life.quot; And in t oo close to ;S;— kind of fool are you? And I kne declaration of  tricked myself into t migrue.

    I sayan-yu at till a fe ed like a big o make me cry.   enoug . ed until I  doo eat and t face w him.

    Over t feai instructed ts to teaco seure familys name. ied aitai used to say as sroduced me to a neask. I dont taitai ever soiled  s calling out orders and criticism.

    quot;teaco er runs clear.  eat muddy rice,quot; so a cook servant.

    Anotime, sold a servant to so clean a c: quot;Make  o to make sure its clean.quot; t  o cook so  I could smell if t stuffing oo salty before I even tasted it. I could sec looked as if ted on. And even aitai complained in a pretend manner t sy blouse on t hes every day.

    After a  errible life, no, not really. After a  day?  isfying taitai nod and pat my rokes? er seeing tyan-yu eat a  its taste or my looks? Its like tV t a stain so tter than new.

    Can you see  o tyan-yu as a god, someone aitai as my real moted to please, someone I s question.

    urned sixteen on taitai told me so  spring. Even if I  ed to marry, rong as a he Japanese were in every corner of China.

    quot;ted guests,quot; said tyan-yus grandmot;and ts ai e plans, but our wedding was very small.

    Sire village and friends and family from oties as  do RSVP. It  polite not to come. aitai didnt ture o an impressive do parlor. aitai aken care to remove all ter and mud marks. So e felicitous messages on red banners, as if my parents tions to congratulate me on my good luck. And so rent a red palanquin to carry me from o the wedding ceremony.

    A lot of bad luck fell on our ceently round and bigger time of t teention, it began to rain, a very bad sign. ning began, people confused it  leave their houses.

    I er t poor aitai ed many o come, and finally, s out of o start t could s che war.

    I  to come doting at a small dressing table by an open o cry and t bitterly about my parents promise. I s muddy broers. I t about to t royed my familys range ts  life is about to end.

    It started to rain again, just a ligairs called up to me once again to s became more urgent, more strange.

    I asked myself,  is true about a person? ould I c still be tains bloside rain   time I could see t see tself, but I could see it carried ter t filled tryside. It caused men to yelp and dance.

    I   rong. I  no one could see, t no one could ever take ahe wind.

    I to myself. And ts up. But underneatill knes  myself.

    t see anyt of me. But ives noertainers es. And to come out for a free meal. I even sas and t o make ty look bigger.

    Someone took my o my fate. But I was no longer scared. I could see w was inside me.

    A ed talked too long about pue. tc our birtes and ility. I tipped my veiled o see.

    tyan-yus name, tced bot;t; tyan yanked t  me.  acted as if  claimed tire courtyard by fanning ill-s tail.

    I saced red candle in a gold  to a nervous-looking servant. t o c and all nigo make sure neit out. In tco s, a little piece of black as;tinuously at bot going out. t can never be broken.quot;

    I still can remember. t candle   to divorce. It meant I couldnt divorce and I couldnt ever remarry, even if tyan-yu died. t red candle o seal me forever erward.

    And sure enougcion t morning and s I know w really ayed up all nig my marriage.

    After t, our small y puso to our small bedroom. People c s. t tyan-yus age made us sit on turn red side our open o jump into my husbands arms.

    After everyone left,  t es, still listening to tside.  gre, tyan-yu said, quot;t;  to me. I ed until  up quietly and  outside, doairs and into tyard.

    Outside it smelled as if it  and feeling t  still inside tyard I could see tc t open ing at a table, looking very sleepy as ts special gold  doree to ce being decided for me.

    I must artled as  to lose its oo, I t, and no and t of tyard and do and o, I ill laug a little he breeze.

    I  ted me up and my feet ran me across tyard to t room. But I  candle go out. It fluttered a little and t do still botrong. My t filled  it finally burst and ble my he candle.

    I immediately s a knife  me do noto my room  guilty steps.

    t morning tcion in front of tyan-yu, s, and myself. quot;My job is done,quot; so ts shame-faced, mournful look.

    I learned to love tyan-yu, but it is not op of me and do ime I  into our bedroom, my anding up. But during t montouc in  on my sofa.

    In front of s, I   as taugructed to kill a fres until pure juice came out. I rain to a boer. I gave to , murmuring good onic soup called tounau,   ingredients t guarantee long life for mother-in-law very much.

    But it  enougo keep aitai and I ting in t my c a pet frog I once kept named Big ind. aitai seemed restless, as if sctom of ood up from o me, and slapped my face.

    quot;Bad ; s;If you refuse to sleep o feed you or clot; So ts  my o avoid  I said noto my parents to be an obedient wife.

    t nig on tyan-yus bed and ed for o touc . I  nigraig to ill  touc nigook off my gown.

    ts yan-yu. urned  it tle boy ly toyan-yu. It  like t more like ter protects a younger brot my go to o be afraid. I yanyu. oucable bed to sleep on.

    After more montomacs remained small and flat, aitai fleo anot;My son says ed enoug must be you are doing somet; And after t so t  spill out so easily.

    O is so muco lie in bed all day, never getting up. But I tell you it aitai became a little crazy.

    Sold ts to take all s of tting off  generation. S concentrate and t imes a day, a very nice servant girl o my room, apologizing time asting medicine.

    I envied t times as I c girl, standing in tyard, bargaining raveling s girls, scolding a easing voice.

    One day, after t any results, aitai called tco tce and taitai about my nature. Finally, tc;Its clear s. Your dauger, and eart in metal, ions and noal. Soo balanced to ;

    turned out to be joyous neai, for ster to reclaim all o ile. And it oo. Because after t lig al. You begin to t person. t day I started to t  breaking my promise to my family.

    It e simple. I made t o get rid of me, t to say tract  valid.

    I t about my plan for many days. I observed everyone around me, ts ts tival of Pure Brigs must be clear as you prepare to t your ancestors. ts to to clear to sones and tual food. Os not a somber day, more like a picnic, but it o someone looking for grandsons.

    On t day, I yan-yu and tire  took aitai a long time to come into my room. quot;s ; s;Go make .quot; But finally, after my  stop, so my room, scolding me at top of her voice.

    I cerrible pain. I e convincing, because aitai drew back and grew small like a scared animal.

    quot;s tle daugell me quickly,quot; she cried.

    quot;Os too terrible to too terrible to say,quot; I said between gasps and more wailing.

    After enoug ;I ; I reported. quot;Our ancestors came to me and said ted to see our yan-yu and I ors. e sac t to t to cors ;

    aitai looked impatient as I began to cry softly again. quot;But t left t. And our ancestors became very angry. ted t t tyan-yus end of t! Our ancestors said tyan-yu ;

    tyan-yus face turned  aitai only fro; a stupid girl to ; And to go back to bed.

    quot;Mot; I called to ;Please dont leave me! I am afraid! Our ancestors said if tter is not settled, truction.quot;

    quot; is t; cried aitai, turning back toyan-yu folloo t.

    quot;t believe me,quot; I said in a remorseful tone, quot;because t  to leave ts of my marriage. So our ancestors said t to sting.quot;

    quot; nonsense from your stupid ; said aitai, sig s resist. quot; signs?quot;

    quot;In my dream, I sa;

    quot;tyan-yus grandfat; asked aitai. I nodded, remembering ting I he wall.

    quot;,  on tyan-yus back, and t  ayan-yus fles as it ate aors face before ;

    aitai quickly turned to tyan-yu and pulled  up. quot;Ai-ya!quot; s ip, just as I  t five monter and brother.

    quot;And tor touc; and I patted my c already . quot;eetart to fall out one by one, until I could no longer protest leaving t;

    aitai pried open my mout in tted toot four years ago.

    quot;And finally, I sa girls o come from a bad family. But s;

    I lay my oo tired to go on. aitai pus; does ;

    quot; girl is tyan-yus true spiritual ed o tyan-yus c;

    By mid-morning tc over to our racted errible confession.

    And after muc girl I liked so mucceasing voice become smaller wer, I comach fear and worry.

    So you can imagine o tell trut ry. I er sruck yan-yu ss to sors graves not just once a year, but once a day.

    to tory. t blame me so mucaitai got  my cloticket to Peking, and enougo go to America. t I never tell anybody of any importance about tory of my doomed marriage.

    Its a true story,  my promise, al I can noo your brots. ttle extra money, I buy anot. I knoy-four carats, all genuine.

    But Ill never forget. On tival of Pure Brigake off all my bracelets. I remember t and could follo. t  to forget myself.

    is to be t girl again, to take off my scarf, to see ness come back into my body!