Lindo Jong

    My dauged to go to C now she is afraid.

    quot; if I blend in so ; averly asked me. quot; if t let me come back to ted States?quot;

    quot;o C; I told ;you dont even need to open your moutsider.quot;

    quot; are you talking about?quot; ser likes to speak back. So question w I say.

    quot;Aii-ya,quot; I said. quot;Even if you put on take off your makeup and  c belong.quot;

    My daug look pleased o be C is so fas is too late. All tried to teacil so  to scalk to people in Crain, eat, close lighink she can blend in? Only her skin and her hair are Chinese. Inside—she is all American-made.

    Its my fault sed my co  combination: American circumstances and Cer.  mix?

    I taugances ing s in line for a sco cry over t. You do not o sit like a Buddree letting pigeons drop ty business on your o keep tances somebody else gives you.

    S I couldnt teac Cer. o obey parents and listen to your mot to ss, to put your feelings beake advantage of unities.  o kno, never flas around like a c.

    No, t stick to oo busy c kind of tuck.

    quot;Finis; I told erday. quot;Dont t;

    quot;Dont be so old-fas; sold me, finis;Im my o;

    And I think, how can she be her own person? hen did I give her up?

    My daugting married a second time. So so go to y parlor,   lahis backward old Chinese woman?

    quot;Auntie An-mei can cut me,quot; I say.

    quot;Rory is famous,quot; says my daug;;

    So I sit in Mr. Rorys cil I am t . ter criticizes me as if I  t;See s flat on one side,quot; s;S and a perm. And tint in  at ;

    S Mr. Rory in t me in t really look at one anotalking. talk to tions. t otc turned to t see ts.

    quot; it?quot; asked Mr. Rory.  understand Englising hicker and longer.

    quot;Ma,  it?quot; er translating Engliss: quot;Ss a soft  it too s. Otll be too tig  it to look kinky or ;

    And no t rig too tig;

    I smile. I use my American face. ts t understand. But inside I am becoming aser and I am proud of  s proud of me.

    Mr. Rory pats my  me.  my daugo my daug really displeases ;Its uncanny ;

    I smile, time  my daug pulls itself small just before it bites. No t;as!quot;

    So my daugy parlor. S  her.

    quot;t; ss to mine and tside in to look like a starved person. Ss  to mine, side by side, and  eache mirror.

    quot;You can see your cer in your face,quot; I say to my daug t;You can see your future.quot;

    quot; do you mean?quot; she says.

    And noune, ts.

    I am seeing myself and my mother, back in China, when I was a young girl.

    My motold me my fortune, er could lead to good and bad circumstances. Sting at able anding being on  day art of ten years by my C ant birt criticize me too muc my face.

    Souc;You are lucky,quot; s;You s of meat at ttom, full of blessings. Some people are born so poor. to to t ears, but you must listen to your opportunities.quot;

    S;You  too big, so your money  be running out. traigune. S luck.quot;

    Sapped my c;Not too s, not too long. Our longevity e, not cut off too soon, not so long ;

    S;e are t; concluded my mot;Pero me. But look at my er you o ;

    Sook my curned my face to;t, eager,quot; s;t. t look do and turn te er-in-la;

    old me till so young. And even ted to look more t up and looked surprised, I ed my eye to do too ed to feel unhappy.

    I ed us: a flood t caused my family to leave me be marriage to a family t did not  me, a er, an ocean t took me to a nery. S see o droop. o  still did not lose my o follo see t I ted my nose bouncing foro co give many to God for all our blessings, but I o subtract some for my nose.

    Its o keep your C to rue self. I paid an American-raised Co show me how.

    quot;In America,quot; s;you cannot say you  to live t say you admire t say you  to be a sco teac you ;

    quot; s to learn?quot; I asked. quot;If tions, if I cannot ans;

    quot;Religion, you must say you  to study religion,quot; said t girl. quot;Americans all  ideas about religion, so t and o t you.quot;

    For anot o copy t to te Lindo Sun. Next to tE, I e May 11, 1918, er t to t doaiyuan, C to tION, I e student of theology.

    I gave t of addresses in San Francisco, people ions. And finally, tructions for cances. quot;First,quot; s;you must find a izen is best.quot;

    S;C be Cizen does not mean Caucasian. But if  a citizen, you sely do number t matter in ted States. Neitake care of you in your old age, isnt t true?quot; And h laughed.

    quot;Be careful, t; s;ties t say no. You s married, you are religious, you kno is o ;

    I must ;Look  it is not supposed to do? And once it  is an American citizen and can do anyt s. It can ask its moto stay. Isnt t true?quot;

    But t is not telling truth?

    See rutill looks.  I give to you? ell your friends t I arrived in ted States on a slo from C true. I  t poor. I took a plane. I   me aelepor. But it is true I did not take test plane. took t stopped everyime I arrived, I did not look sincerely glad to be here.

    ell people t I met your fat I broke open a fortune cookie and it said I   sincere. t true! Your fat a er, I never ate in t restaurant. t said quot;C; so only Americans  t orn do is a McDonalds restaurant  says mai dong lou—quot;; quot;east,quot; quot;building.quot; All nonsense. tracted only to C understand my real circumstances,  my Che way you are.

    ions. ties looked at my papers and stamped me in. I decided to go first to a San Francisco address given to me by t me doreet reet. I all building. t. Marys. Under tten Cers, someone ;A Co Save Gs from Spiritual Unrest 7 A.M. and 8:30 A.M.quot; I memorized tion in case ties asked me . It ed on tside of a s building: quot;Save today for tomorro Bank of America.quot; And I t to myself, t so dumb! today t c o be, noall building, fifty stories o-be work and look down on everybody.

    My daugher can make a good joke.

    So I kept , as trance to a great Buddemple. But opped acks of tile roofs, no s ried to make everyty or an emperors tomb. But if you looked on eitend-pagodas, you could see treets became narroy. I t to myself,  Cs for t tead? O cave or a C inside it uff.

    So by time I found t to expect too mucside stairs and old me riged ime ing for me all o me, keeping  after I took t it and said, quot;Syaujyequot;—Miss—quot;arve on t; So I gave ;Aii, you t is so easy getting tion?quot; So I gave h.

    itment on ason Street. It ting on top of a little store. And t, I found a terrible job paying me seventy-five cents an ried to get a job as a salesgirl, but you o knoried for anotess, but ted me to rub my  aitutes in C address out o ionson and toisricts, souto make tune and ill o t-grandchildren.

    So my mot about my ory . Big black mac pouring little pancakes onto moving round griddles. t on ools, and as ttle pancakes  by,  griddle just as turned golden. e  a strip of paper in ter, ts arms back just as it turned oo soon, you ,  doug if you grabbed too late, te t bend. And to takes in a barrel,  you because those only as scraps.

    After t day, I suffered ten red fingers. t a job for a stupid person. You o learn fast or your fingers urn into fried sausages. So t day only my eyes burned, from never taking ter t, my arms ac ready to catc just t moment. But by t  became mindless ice ained very feakes. But I suspected se te plump.

    quot;E; so me over teful to o discover  ;Did you ever termine someone elses fortune?quot; she asked.

    I didnt understand  aloud, first in Englis;Do not figy laundry in public. to tor go t; translated in C;You s fig time. If you  dirty.quot;

    I still did not kno of all evil. Look around you and dig deep.quot; And t;Money is a bad influence. You become restless and rob graves.quot;

    quot; is t; I asked ting trips of paper in my pocket, tudy these classical American sayings.

    quot;tunes,quot; s;American people te t;

    quot;But ;t make sense. t fortunes, tructions.quot;

    quot;No, Miss,quot; s;it is our bad fortune to be une to pay to get t;

    So t is  An-mei ie An-mei, noe useful in ch a husband.

    quot;E; An-mei said to me one day at our ;Come to my c a citizen, but Im sure o make one.quot; So t is   tin Jong, your fat  like my first marriage,  to marry o China.

    I kne rigonese!  s said: quot;e are not in C o marry t parts of C; See ie An-mei is from those old days.

    So , your fato speak to eacs. e  to Englisogeto eacimes taking out a piece of paper to e a Cer to s . At least o oget its o tell someones marriage intentions tle signs—teasing, ts  is serious. But alk only in teac. I see rat. I see .

    But I saing place telep kno your fat or? You didnt knoher had so much hair?

    O later  t. It  so good. Even today, no I can speak Cantonese to your fat find a better situation. But s as if  understand anything I said.

    Sometimes I o catc t in my mind. S;In tes in class. ts o trouble. You need to start trouble to get to realize entions. Ot comes to ;

    t evening An-mei and I  to une cookie papers, trying to find t instructions to give to your fatting aside ones t mig;Diamonds are a girls best friend. Dont ever settle for a pal.quot; quot;If sucs are in your s time to be ; quot;Confucius say a ell your al.quot;

    e laug I kne one  said: quot;A   at ; I did not laug.

    After sc afternoon, I put my ten my ;s t; I cried. t t to your fat;E to see take t;

    I kneure t did not e anyt in he piece of paper.

    quot; does it say?quot; I asked. I tried to act as if it did not matter. And  speak, I said, quot;translate, please.quot;

    e smout. So I o marry  instead,  ;I dont knoonigionary. tell you tomorro;

    t day ;Lindo, can you spouse me?quot; And I laug  ly. So  if tentions must also be  o get married.

    One monter  C. And nine monter your fatizenson. I named on because I liked t;on.quot; I ed to raise a son o myself, At last I ed. I er in a car accident? So young! Only sixteen!

    ter inston ,quot; to t er t you were born.

    I dont knoo c  damaged my t ed everyto be better. I ed you to  circumstances, t cer. I didnt  you to regret anyts reet ed you to t I also kneer treet, soon you ake a piece of me h you.

    Mr. Rory is brus. Everything is black.

    quot;You look great, Ma,quot; says my daug;Everyone at ter.quot;

    I look at my face in ty parlor mirror. I see my reflection. I cannot see my faults, but I knoer ts. ter, it came from my circumstances. I look at my daug is t time I .

    quot;Ai-ya!  o your nose?quot;

    S; do you mean? Not; s;Its just t;

    quot;But  it crooked?quot; I ask. One side of .

    quot; do you mean?quot; s;Its your nose. You gave me t;

    quot; be? Its drooping. You must get plastic surgery and correct it.quot;

    But my daugs  to my ;Dont be silly. Our nose isnt so bad,quot; s;It makes us look devious.quot; She looks pleased.

    quot; is t; I ask.

    quot;It means  our intentions are different.quot;

    quot;People can see t;

    My daug;ell, not everyt  kno;

    quot;t;

    quot;t .quot;

    I t our t my intentions. ter? If you s alher.

    It is like o C year, after I  been t forty years. I aken off my fancy je  still, t one  Cill charged me high foreign prices.

    So no did I lose?  did I get back in return? I will ask my daug shinks.

    Double face   Up

    A Pair of tickets

    Jing-Mei oo

    te our train leaves ters S. I can feel tingling, my blood rus. I am becoming Chinese.

    quot;Cannot be ; my moteen and  I soever beloudied at a famous nursing sc genetics. So t in : Once you are born C  feel and think Chinese.

    quot;Someday you ; said my mot;It is in your blood, ing to be let go.quot;

    And ant tag of DNA suddenly triggered, replicating itself insidiously into a syndrome, a cluster of telltale Co embarrass me—ore oo t t lemon yello good combinations for er clothes.

    But today I realize Ive never really kno means to be Cy-six years old. My motrain, carrying o China.

    e are first going to Guangzy-t ,  kno of seeing  or if its because  noo button er and pat ting across from eaced by a little table ea. For t time I can ever remember, my fatears in  train ioned field of yelloracks, lo on tober morning. And I cant y eyes, as if I ime ago, and  forgotten.

    In less tells me is o Canton t seems all ties I  Ser  in Guangzco S my t time.

    ttle babies so abandon on a road as s old me about ters, so tting on tening to bombs ance  red thumbs.

    And it  someone found te ter came from So my mot  t tical sisters transforming from little babies into six-year-old girls. In my mind, ted next to eac a table, taking turns ain pen. One e a neat ro Mama. e are alive. Ser te:Come get us. Please hurry.

    Of course t kno my mot. One minute salking to my fat tenants upstairs, sco evict tense t relatives from C minute s, groping for tly to ttering hands.

    So my fat one to open tter, a long letter it turned out. And true mot a framed picture of old  time my mot sao whey were finally found.

    And tter  so mucers calling my mot ter to my motie Lindo and asked o e back and tell my sisters, in tlest  my mother was dead.

    But instead Auntie Lindo took tter to tie Ying and Auntie An-mei ragedy, of losing my mot  ther could fulfill her dream.

    So t te to my sisters in S;Dearest Daugoo ten you in my memory or in my . I never gave up   to tell you everyt my life since I last sa to tell you to see you in C; t hers name.

    It  until all t t told me about my sisters, tter te back.

    quot;t; I murmured. And I ers noen or eleven, jumping up and doed t ther was dead.

    quot; coming in a letter?quot; said Auntie Lindo. quot;S be to tell t; And I t s.

    But tarted dreaming, too, of my moters and  o be found, I  ers at t. tanding on tiptoes, looking anxiously, scanning from one dark o anot off tantly, tical worried look.

    quot;Jyejye, Jyejye. Sister, Sister. e are ; I saw myself saying in my poor version of Chinese.

    quot;; till smiling, to stand be a bit, to tease a little and make peoples patience pull a little on ts. I ers s hiding.

    quot;O must be Mama, no?quot; one of my sisters ing to anotely engulfed in a tos. And t, too, ains of gifts, food, and toys for c on sale—ss er turning to sers, quot;Calvin Klein, 100% ;

    I imagined myself starting to say, quot;Sisters, I am sorry, I ; and before I could tell t in my face—ted in pain, as tting back on the plane and coming home.

    After I imes—curn from o anger—I begged Auntie Lindo to e anotter. And at first she refused.

    quot; e t; said Auntie Lindo ubborn look.

    quot;But its cruel to ; I said. quot;s just me, te me.quot;

    quot;e you? Cannot be.quot; S;You are ter, t;

    quot;You dont understand,quot; I protested.

    quot; I dont understand?quot; she said.

    And I  s appreciate ;

    And Auntie Lindo looked satisfied and sad at time, as if true and I . S doter. Sears in  tten t  to read it.

    quot;t; I whispered.

    t cement buildings, old factories, and tracks and more tracks filled rains like ours passing by in te direction. I see platforms croern clots of brigtle cops and pants t stop mid-calf. e are in Guangzhou.

    Before train even comes to a stop, people are bringing dos. For a moment tcases laden s to relatives, ring to keep tents from spilling out, plastic bags filled ables and packages of dried mus in a stream of people rusil ing to go toms. I feel as if I ting on tockton bus in San Francisco. I am in C bot feels rigart pusoo.

    I take out tion forms and my passport. quot;oo,quot; it says at top, and belo, quot;June May,quot; ; in 1951. I oms people ion ure, my c back and artfully styled. I am ed t in October. And noo dark circles and everyt like layers of grease. So today my face is plain, unadorned except for a t of s on my forehead and nose.

    Even  makeup, I could never pass for true Cand five-foot-six, and my  I am eye level only ourists. My motold me my  came from my grandfat;t your grandmotold me,quot; explained my mot;But no is too late to ask s, your uncles, and tions in one instant.quot;

    Ster-of-factly t I t sten over any grief shey were all dead.

    quot;Maybe t t; I suggested.

    quot;No,quot; said my mot;Our  you and I.quot;

    quot;But ;

    quot;Cannot be,quot; said my motime almost angrily. And to talk as if srying to remember  back to t  looking up to   a  t, ories of burnt bricks and o to to sleep in, really just a metal frame ted up at one corner. And a book, I dont knoeacup tle girl, I  doll, seeing it all alone in tore  it for me. It  could turn its legs and arms. t my family o my youngest niece, because s doll   doll, s ing togets ;

    toms bootares at my documents, t me briefly, and s stamps everyternly nods me along. And soon my fatcases. I feel lost and my father looks helpless.

    quot;Excuse me,quot; I say to a man ell me axi?quot;  sounds Swedisch.

    quot;Syau Yen! Syau Yen!quot; I  from be beret is ic bag filled rinkets. I guess srying to sell us somet my fataring do tiny sparroing into tle boy.

    quot;Aiyi! Aiyi!quot;—Auntie Auntie!—ly.

    quot;Syau Yen!quot; coos my great-aunt. I ts funny s called my fat;Little ild Goose.quot; It must be o discourage gs from stealing children.

    t aking turns saying, quot;Look at you! You are so old. Look ; t time, and I bite my lip, trying not to cry. Im afraid to feel t our arrival in Somorrow,  will feel.

    Nos to a Polaroid picture of my fat pictures one as sure to my fatter, my fatel once  to meet us. I ers  t.

    It is only t I remember t to take a picture of my fat t t. Its not too late.

    quot;and toget; I say, . Aiyi and my fatill stand close togeture, co form. t reverentially quiet. Aiyi is only five years older ty-seven. But s, se, eetories of Co myself.

    Noo me: quot;Jandale.quot; So big already. S me, at my full , and to ic bag—s to us, I —as if s so me, no I am so old and big. And turns me around. A man and ies are s;A; t son and anding next to ttle girl roductions go by so fast, all I kno one of ter, tle girl is Lili, Aiyis great-granddaughter.

    Aiyi and my fat from t t of tonese of tand only Mandarin but cant speak it t rained in Mandarin, exc people from top only occasionally to talk to t of us, sometimes in Cantonese, sometimes in English.

    quot;O is as I suspected,quot; says my faturning to me. quot; summer.quot; And I already understood t dont knoions and translators had run amok.

    quot;; I say to ttle girl. quot;My name is Jing-mei.quot; But ttle girl squirms to look ao laug. I try to tonese o uff I learned from friends in Co all I can terms for bodily functions, and s p;tastes good,quot; quot;tastes like garbage,quot; and quot;s; And tely jumps for , and flasootake ture sanding next to me, jumping and giggling every few seconds as sche greenish film.

    By time o tel, Lili is igo my hand, pulling me along.

    In taxi, Aiyi talks nonstop, so I o ask  t sights we are passing by.

    quot;You e and said you ; says Aiyi to my fatated tone. quot;One day! oiso call us welep;

    My  races a little. I ie Lindo told my sisters el in Shanghai?

    Aiyi continues to scold my fat;I  turned rying to t o take toiso Guangz you rigart.quot;

    And norucks and buses, antly. e seem to be on some sort of long freey. I can see roer roments, eactered  to dry on tig t must be doo looks like a major American city, ruction going on every of ty, I see scores of little sers and ss front laced ogetic strips. Men and anding on narroforms, scraping t safety straps or s. Ohink.

    Aiyis s;So it is a s see our village, our e successful, selling our vegetables in t. e  feo build a big ories, all of neer. You Americans arent to get ric;

    taxi stops and I assume  t at t Regency. quot;t C; I  loud. And to;t be tel.quot; I quickly pull out our itinerary, travel tickets, and reservations. I ly instructed my travel agent to cy-to-forty-dollar range. Im sure of t says on our itinerary: Garden el, ravel agent ter be prepared to eat tra, ts all I o say.

    tel is magnificent. A bellboy complete o carry our bags into tel looks like an orgy of saurants all encased in granite and glass. And rat t must give Aiyi, t  our luxuries even for one night.

    But o tion desk, ready to ake, it is confirmed. Our rooms are prepaid, ty-four dollars eaced by our temporary surroundings. Lili is looking  an arcade filled h video games.

    Our or, and t us on teentor door ss, everybody becomes very quiet, and  once in w sounds like relieved voices. I or ride.

    Our rooms are next to eacical. taupe. television e-control panels built into table bet-in  bar or stocked tles of Jos of M amp; Ms, ed case bars. And again I say out loud, quot;t C;

    My fato my room. quot;t stay ,quot; ;trouble t ime to talk.quot;

    quot; about dinner?quot; I ask. I  real C for many days already, a big banquet eaming out of a carved er melon, che works.

    My fat to a travel amp; Leisure magazine. s to t;t t,quot; says my father.

    So its decided. e are going to dine tonigh our family, sharing hamburgers, french fries, and apple pie ?la mode.

    Aiyi and er a  ride on train, Im eager for a shes.

    tel tle packets of sency and color of , I this is China. And I rub some in my damp hair.

    Standing in t time Ive been by myself in  instead of feeling relieved, I feel forlorn. I t  activating my genes and becoming C s.

    Riger my mot of t couldnt be anso force myself to grieve more. It seemed as if I ed to sustain my grief, to assure myself t I had cared deeply enough.

    But noions mostly because I  to kno  pork stuff so make t exture of sa?

    all t ers? All times  me,  t I ?

    At one oclock in to tapping sounds on t self. Im sitting on t one of t to me. too, spra on ted at a little table, looking very sleepy. And my fataring out tapping  time I listened my fatelling Aiyi about  saer got a post  my moter fled togeto So try to find my mot traveled eventually to Canton and to o San Francisco….

    quot;Suyuan didnt tell me srying all to find ers,quot;  voice. quot;Naturally, I did not discuss ers  s t;

    quot;; asks Aiyi. quot;;

    I am s of tory from my mothers friends.

    quot;It ook over K; says my father.

    quot;Japanese in K; says Aiyi. quot;t  be. to K;

    quot;Yes, t is ed. I kno time. tang often told us  say. But o Kon railal.quot;

    Aiyi looks astonis;If people did not kno;

    quot;An officer of tang secretly ;Suyuans  officers and t to be killed. So s, sers and fled on foot. t even one year old.quot;

    quot;; sig;then she yawns again.

    quot; ; sen carefully. I  t;Sisterquot; to address t no to knoheir names.

    quot;t; says my fat;And t;

    quot; do t; I ask.

    quot;A; My faters on t;One means Spring Rain, t; ;because t, dont you t;

    I nod my oo. But it falls forays thing deeply, noisily. She is asleep.

    quot;And ; I whisper.

    quot; Suyuan, quot; ing more invisible cers on t;te it in C mean Long-Ce a fancy name, not so ordinary like flo cer, it mean sometten. But to e Suyuan. Sound exactly t te.quot; es trokes of anoter. quot;t part look tten. But t part add to first part make t angry ell ;

    My fat me, moist-eyed. quot;See, I pretty clever, too, ;

    I nod,  ;And  my name,quot; I ask, quot;;

    quot;Your name also special,quot;  somet;Jing like excellent jing. Not just good, its sometial, t quality. Jing is good leftover stuff ies out of somet. So —just pure essence. And Mei, ter. quot;

    I t ter ed my mot iny Aiyi stirs suddenly, o ansion. Ss in ucking o the chair.

    quot;So o knooo.

    quot;Long time I ; says my fat;But t letter from ers in Salk to Auntie Lindo, all t s;

    quot; ;

    quot;Your mot; begins my father.

    quot;No, tell me in C; I interrupt. quot;Really, I can understand.quot;

    o talk, still standing at to t.

    After fleeing Krying to find a main road.  o catcruck or o catcil sationed.

    So t, to barter rides all t, I  o trade t and jade ring. ther.

    By traded notrucks. trucks ruso stop. So your motart of dysentery pains in omach.

    ers grecases. And ters burst and began to bleed. After a cases beer s flour and rice and kept o tle girls, until sh pain and fever.

    Finally, t one more step left in  rengto carry to t, from starvation, or from t behind her.

    Sook t of t t to t. ting to be picked up again. And t bear to ch her.

    S going by. quot;take my babies, I beg you,quot; so t tared back y eyes and never stopped.

    S again. time a man turned around, and errible expression—your mot looked like deatself—she shivered and looked away.

    , sore open tuffed je of one baby and money under to  and dre tos of ure of ure of e on t;Please care for t is safe to come, if you bring to So give you a generous reward. Li Suyuan and ang Fuc;

    And toucold  to cry. So find t looking back, sumbling and crying, t  ers hing else.

    S remember ion s, o scream, to Budd  t of an American missionary lady bent over alking to  understand. And yet sand. S oo late to go back and save her babies.

    er sold o come so far, to lose so muco find nothing.

    I met al. S, o move, ery , my missing toe, o herself, mumbling.

    quot;Look at t; sime. It in, quite dirty, but t it iful dress.

    quot;Look at t; sy face and ;Do you see my foolis;

    quot;I t I  everyt t; s;And I ;

    quot;But no soil.

    It  ; t er told your sisters ting obediently near tle fairy queens ing for to arrive.

    tone cave. t in and around K t ter t of t on times t tragedy to leave beook back to tely painted set of rice botle footstool  cuss. And once, it ers.

    ter in ts like tures, knoe. It  until many monter t Mei Cing on these baby girls like her own.

    In 1952 Mei ime to find your sisters true family.

    Sure of told to a great family and sake to see true mots. Mei Cold t t s. Sed to  titled to—a better life, a fine ed  ay on as tain t.

    Of course, ely different. It e of a factory building, recently constructed, and none of t  spot.

    Mei C  your moturned to t same place in 1945 in ers.

    Your motayed in Cil 1947. e  to many different cities—back to Ko C of one corner of tle girls. Later  to  in 1949 for ted States, I t. But  t, At last, t.

    ters could be openly excates, se immediately to old friends in S knoold me. But of course, by treet names  took many years to find a contact. And e asking o look for ers, e back and said ttom of ters ill alive?

    So e did not look. Finding babies lost during tter of foolision, and sime for t.

    But every year, your mote to different people. And t year, I t a big idea in o go to Cold me, quot;Canning, oo late, before oo old.quot; And I told oo old, it oo late.

    I just t sed to be a tourist! I didnt knoo go and look for ers. So oo late, t must  a terrible t in  ers migy gre killed her.

    Maybe it  o find ers. Because after your mote saers, by c tment Store on Nanjing Dong Road. S oget t reminded te of your mother.

    So t recognize at first, because Mei C your moted. quot;Are you not ang C; sed, because tten on to, a po of a young man and ill  parents, ill roaming them.

    At t, I am exed. I could not sleep last nigo my room at tantly fell asleep on one of t of a lumberjack. I lay a my motory, realizing   my sisters and I  her.

    And no t, after s all t o some at airports, knoory and saying good-bye before I o knoer.

    Aiyi smiles at me as  for our gate to be called. S one arm around  seems. And ts time. As ime and enter ting area, I get to anotcickets to Swo here.

    takes off. I close my eyes. o t our mothers life? here should I begin?

    quot;ake up,  pounding in my t. I look out ts gray outside.

    And noeps of to tarmac and too be to even feel my feet. I am just moving somehow.

    Somebody ss, quot;S; And t  same look on  errible ordeal and were  is over.

    And I knos not my mot it is ternoon, for sucime, t s and lauging to make sure it rue.

    And no t beyond te, oions and expectations forgotten.

    quot;Mama, Mama,quot; we all murmur, as if she is among us.

    My sisters look at me, proudly. quot;Meimei jandale,quot; says one sister proudly to t;Little Sister ; I look at trace of my mot till look familiar. And no of me is C is so obvious. It is my family. It is in our blood. After all t can finally be let go.

    My sisters and I stand, arms around eacears from eac. My sisters and I cly togeto see w develops.

    to t colors of our t once. And alt speak, I kno: togeto see, at last, her long-cherished wish.