At Miss inter’s tes . Eleven o ty-to try. At regular intervals I stopped to turn tco tepaper basket; these pauses marked my “hours.”
I ory I I ime ts and my nigime dreams from my from Miss inter’s. It o urned constantly was Angelfield.
In trut uno abdicate my oo Miss inter’s story urning my back on my o one cannot simply snuff oneself out in t fas escape t it ically , I December ing do time.
On ter t of tears, I did not see Miss inter. Sayed in bed, seeing only Juditon. t. I slept t to tle room and found her in bed.
o a trace of makeup. Perion its peak of effectiveness, for tranquility about seemed ne me, but here was kindness in her eyes.
‘You don’t need your notebook and pencil,“ s you to do sometoday.“
‘?“
Judit on t Miss inter’s ced o it. In ter of t sioned t so t Miss inter could see out of tucked a toer’s s.
Before s sh a smile.
‘But o do?“ I asked Miss inter.
‘Cut my hair, of course.“
‘Cut your hair?“
‘Yes. Don’t look like t. to it.“
‘But I don’t know how.“
‘Just take t.“ S care . I don’t care looks like. Just get rid of it.“
‘But I—“
“Please.”
Reluctantly I took up position beer t o touc expected it to crackle, and punctuated ty little knots.
‘I’d better brus first.“
ts a t o simply cut ts out.
tentatively I made t cut. A fe.
‘Ser t,“ Miss inter said mildly.
‘to ouched her shoulders.
‘Ser.“
I took a lock of it nervously. An orange snake slito my feet, and Miss inter began to speak.
I remember a feer ter’s old room. Not for any special reason. I standing taring at nottle ridge in tain. A tear t ser needle t of t t sort of o it. I ention of pulling it, I ention of any sort, really… But all of a sudden, t , zigzagged itcain gaping open. No art to fray.
Joer at t. But t remained: If er er y catcer day s afternoon so be taken in by its c t Joo bed and slept soundly, even a dream of falling ty air.
If er here.
I found t fraying ain utterly unbearable.
I Miss inter’s ime salking, and opped.
Sed a o th.
‘Ser,“ she said.
I picked up the scissors again and carried on.
till came every day. ed and mulc coming because of t ill your uncle gets back”—and I paid till kept coming. I cairs ion and I jumped out of vie on one occasion sig wave back.
Every morning vegetables to tcimes or a plucked ernoon o collect t. I en t te between his lips.
I tes, and it annoyed me t t. I never said a it, but one day, s t me eyeing ttes in pocket.
‘Sea,“ he said.
o tc time ually come in since t in Joable. I sat in to sit. e drank our tea in silence and exte smoke t rose upoaken our last drag and stubbed ttes out on our saucers, a of tcurned to t day, te across to me before I ttle on.
e never spoke. But we s.
Emmeline, imes spent ternoons outdoors looking on as t it. “You’re ter of t it made no difference. S anyone old me about men ing to touc tion of ing to touco o make be easy in my mind about it, though.
Sometimes from an upstairs cogeted by s to urned o ans o ray lock of t made me t mind it if ouch her.
But seen and continued his work.
t morning chen. I broke our usual silence.
‘Don’t toucold him.
touched Emmeline.”
‘Good. ell, don’t.“
I t t . e botook anottes and I prepared to lapse back into silence, but after ex to touch Emmeline.”
I curious little intonation. I .
I took a drag of my cigarette and didn’t look at look at him.
‘Shan you are,“ he said.
My cigarette even I stubbed it out. I strode to tc open.
In tood stiffly, staring straig ttons on .
his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. his voice was a murmur. “Be kind, Adeline.”
Stung to anger I lifted my eyes up, meaning to fire daggers at I artled by tenderness in I was… confused.
ook advantage. Raised to stroke my cheek.
But I , lashed his hand away.
I didn’t
ed.
And then he was gone.
tcy after t. the boy was gone.
‘I’ll it was impossible. how could a boy like him help me? how could anybody help me?
t o my s aufts t clung to Miss inter’s scalp were pure we.
I took toray bits of he back of her neck.
‘Give me ter said.
I h her hair shorn, she looked like a grizzled child.
Sared at t ime. t table.
‘t is exactly ed. t.“
I left back to my room I t about t about about about Aurelius, found as an infant, c about it all at lengt for all my t arrive at any conclusion.
One to me, teps of t it ime I Angelfield: “I just ell me truts ecell me trut. No er o Yorks a reporter at all. It was Aurelius all along.