From tation I made a po t ment wold be coming her will be sorry,” he said.
‘ill she?“
‘Of course she will.“
‘I o go back. I t er.“
‘here?“
‘t Angelfield.“
‘Bones?“
‘One of ting today.“
‘Gracious.“
‘to get in toucer to ask it. And er is dying. I can’t leave here. She needs me.“
‘I see.“ his voice was serious.
‘Don’t tell Mot Miss inter and er ire twins.“
. t said, “You ake care, you, Margaret?”
***A quarter of an er I tled into my seat next to taking er’s diary out of my pocket.
I so understand a great deal more about optics. Sitting sig in tated, for s supposed to be in t all, but outside, getting ake, of course, for I o look out of to see t sside, and er, too, playing nicely for once. I a misleading glimpse of, to be precise, must come in ted in tion (On reflection! An unintended drollery!), it is t caused my misapprerangeness in tical o seeing t t expect to be, and at times o be else of interpreting every movement out of t reflected in a mirror presents itself in a very convincing manner to te dress. to guard against errors suco teaco vie preconception, to abandon all ual modes of t. to be said in favor of suctitude in principle. to t its root ty to see afres to be understood for centuries. live by sucime it ake if every aspect of experience o be scrutinized afrese of every day. No; in order to free ourselves from t is essential t e mucerpretation of to t lo deals sometimes leads us astray and causes us to misinterpret a flas as a girl in a hings can be.
Mrs. Dunnes mind does imes. I fear sook in very little of our conversation about meal plans, and omorrow.
I tle plan regarding my activities or.
I old great lengt Adeline demonstrates a type of mental disturbance t I ered nor read about before. I mentioned t ted developmental problems, and I saies and talent. One book I spoke of, knoo give s and evidence in t on to point out t inconsistencies t I iced in it, and to suggest ions.
tor smiled at me at tly, “Pere your oly tunity ime.
I pointed out to t case study for suc and I could devote a feing up my observations. I sketc a number of trials and experiments t could be undertaken to test my ouc tablis. After ted t t for all my experience, my formal qualifications are not grand enougo tempt a publis, as a entirely confident of being able bring off sucious project. A man, if only telligent and resourceful, sensitive and scientific, o my experience and my case study, o make a better job of it.
And in suc o ogether!
I fear Mrs. Dunne is not stay in tries to avoid responsibility for ions by maintaining t ted.
Quite by calk of gs comes on tely disappeared, only to be replaced by a novella by Mrs. Dunne of titution. So read given to practical jokes. Obviously it makes it note a striking coincidence a cleverer trick tory about a governess and t Mr. James exposes tent of tle about c all about governesses.
It is done. t has begun.
tion kno is to come of it, I s myself cruel for inflicting it upon t to break . for Adeline? For so be t altered by t life. I somorroing.
time for anyt researc I o do one additional useful to conversation today eacside t office. I told I o Jo truant and t so me if t again reason. So teac time it is not time, and terres, I told foolis not being able to tell inctive is no all in identifying o Jo doubt ion t time.
I am not ing my diary mucely. I find t after ting, late at nigs I prepare every day about Emmeline’s progress, I am frequently too tired to keep up ivities. And I do to keep a record of tor, on very important researco come, o look back and remember. Pers or o furtific and intellectual isfying tance, Dr. Maudsley and I stimulating conversation on t of Emmeline’s use of pronouns. Ser inclination to speak to me, and y to communicate improves every day. Yet t of is resistant to development is tence of t person plural. “e to t to ttle parrot s “I” after me, but in t sentence, “e saten in thing.
tor and I are mucrigued by ty. Is it simply an ingrained of speeco Englis t ime rigself? Or does t to te identity from t of er? I told tor about imaginary friends t so many disturbed c, and togetions of t if t t tion causes a mental trauma suc tion of an imaginary tasy companion? e arrived at no satisfactory conclusion but parted isfaction of ed anoture study: linguistics.
needs to be done, I find I am sleeping too little, and despite my reserves of energy, inguisoms of sleep deprivation. I irritate myself by putting tting nigells me t t I must urned tion at all of ts on tant tiredness are tor on our project.
is not ed to e about. I meant to e about our our findings, ttern of our minds, tand eacant understanding permits us almost to do ing tterns of our separate subjects, for instance, to dratention to somet need to speak, for I can feel o me, and I raise my e ready for o point out is.
Skeptics mig me of magnifying a co a ual occurrence by imagination, but I o see t oget project— telligent people, I mean to say—a bond of communication develops bet can enly engaged on a task, tely sensitive to, eaciniest movements, and can interpret t seeing tesimal movements. And it is no distraction from trary, it en, for our speed of understanding is quickened. Let me add one simple example, small in itself but standing in for countless otent upon some notes, trying to see a pattern of betings on Adeline. Reaco make an annotation in t tors into it. I looked up to t e unconscious of ion, alicipating ts. And ails relating to t, or else observations about ts of life and science, and even ted undertaking.
But I am sleepy, and te at lengt is really time to go to bed.
I ten for nearly a offer my usual excuses. My diary disappeared.
I spoke to Emmeline about it—kindly, severely, e and ts of punis (and yes, my met frankly, losing a diary touc personally)—but sinues to deny everytent and s knoances ed myself and find it o explain it read and erest in ots and inner lives, ot ly. it? Presumably it is t tempted try to reduce it; it is usually I am disappointed in her.
If I o judge by er alone, I s of t. But t remains t it cannot have been anyone else.
Jo ts sed to steal my diary, e, I remember clearly t t missing. In case I t tion around to tivities, and Jo Mrs. Dunne c racket, too, ” old me). S Jo t cannot hem.
And so, ed all ts I am obliged to believe t it was Emmeline.
And yet I cannot sure in appearance, so distressed at being accused—and I am forced to ional factor at play I o take into account? ter in t it gives rise to an uneasiness in me: I am suddenly over t none of my plans is destined to come to fruition. Somet me ever since I came to t s to t me and frustrate me in every project I undertake! I raced every step in my logic, I can find no fla still I find myself beset by doubt… is it t I am failing to see?
Reading over t paragrapruck by t unceristic lack of confidence in my tone. It is surely only tiredness t makes me ted mind is prone to o unfruitful avenues; it is not a good nig cure.
Besides, it is all over no day for six, and ser, it er I came doo put it t see to t tely. But it urned. So t, is there?
I am so tired and yet I cannot sleep. I eps in t, but o there.
I confess it made me uneasy—makes me uneasy still—to t ttle book of my possession even for t of anot discomforting. I cannot terpret certain tten, for ly rut I e, I am pering at speed, may sometimes express myself in a could be misinterpreted by anot into ten (tor and t event— ing about at all really), I can see t t appear to a stranger in a lig from ended, and I troy t to, for t I most to keep, to read later, project.
ific friends be a source of joy? It is no less scientific for t, is it?
But pero stop ing altogete, even noe tence, t reader s my s my meaning, and makes me uncomfortable in ts.
It is very aggravating to be presented to oneself in a lig from t is clearly a false light.
I e any more.
Endings