Miss inter seemed to sense t me cocoa on a tray but also offered to replace me if I ed to sleep. I s, thanks.”

    Miss inter also refused e tablets if shem.

    er closed her eyes again.

    ‘he wolf?“ I asked.

    ‘Quiet in t ain of ory. So ent to bide ime.  going to make a fuss. e’ve agreed to terms.“

    ‘ terms?“

    ‘o let me finisory, and to let him finish me.“

    Sold me tory of ted dohe words.

    I  deal of t to tical aspects of ainly, and I ure. If ime, my intention o alloer. t  be ant member of to   parentage, to do so; noto reveal truty t needed to be resolved. I  taken into account t  expected to love him.

    I did not d   t of  tentative movements of iny y of my desire to protect ed to protect o protect o protect tcoget drag my eyes aiful. My one desire o keep t to keep them safe.

    Adeline er, more jealous t o be expected: Emmeline er, s neitions ouc t. the baby usurped all.

    I s  tent of Adeline’s red. I kneent of  t understood t go to, I could scarcely believe it. Passing Emmeline’s bedroom, I silently puso see if sill sleeping. I found Adeline in ture alarmed me. ep, sarted, turned and rus me out of tched a small cushion.

    I felt compelled to daso t. t e baby breath.

    Safe!

    Until next time.

    I began to spy on Adeline. My old days of ing came in useful again as from beains and yerees I cions; indoors or outdoors, taking no notice of time of day or ted actions. Sates t side my understanding. But gradually one activity came particularly to my attention. Once, times a day, so t it again, carrying a can of petrol ime. Sook to to lose interest. S s distantly, ful.  looking I took tever did s  t t at o be realized. ever t seem to find it strange t t  despite trol cans, sed in fetcing the house.

    I seemed to spend urning to t one day, not ing to leave Emmeline and tected, I put one instead in t of sig occurred to me t perter place. Because, by alurning to t it  altoget put an end to the rigmarole.

    atcired me out, but sired. A little sleep  a long  at any . And I ting sleepy. One day, in t to bed. t in  noter,  soundly.

    I dreains.

    It ime to go and cired of al. atc, c at all.  , t touc ening to t, tranquil it —t ained myself, tting into  I rate me, take over my breat of t took  myself drifting off o sleep.

    Somet I  before I ever  move, kept my breatcween my lashes.

    S over t, lifted t of t to stop  I didn’t. If I , sponed ting , I could find out  a stop to it once and for all. tirred in  o be in anyone’s arms but Emmeline’s, and a baby is not taken in by a twin.

    I folloo t s ajar. t to t  to t rectangle I sa in t. I s. he was awake.

    Kneeling by took coals from ttle, logs from ted t kno of paper, kindling, coals and logs; Adeline’s fires  oug to burn at all.

    tion of c couldn’t catc couldn’t. But I could not reassure myself. o do  somet to spark. trong s fire to er if sed to badly enough.

    In cill wrapped in .

    t t o t s discovered my spying. It er. Surned into tairs and disappeared.

    I ran to trapped  quickly around a moten bolster from t it on t time to flee. I eps on tone flags, a dragging noise t rol can scraping on t as I stepped back into one of the library bays.

    ly, don’t cry noo my body so  miss t.

    Back at t  it appeared not. S  sed?

    tirred, a jerk of tensing of e backbone t is so often to a tled   cry. ease don’t cry. ill again, and I ched.

    My books. On t pass  opening at random, for to see t looked all  t so read—

    Sore out pages by tful. Stered to to loose balls. Fast! S little volumes, suddenly a paper mountain. to t! I ed to cry out, but iful  and crumpled up, and I, in the shadows, speechless.

    S onto top of te blanket in times I curn from to til torn-up books. Jane Eyre, uts, te… Balls of paper toppled from t of t, joining t se.

    One came to a stop at my feet, and silently I dropped doo retrieve it.

    Orageous sensation of crumpled paper; ions, senseless. My  broke.

    Anger s me up; it carried me like a piece of flotsam, unable to see or breat roared like an ocean in my  , leaped like a mad truck  I reasure in my arms, and so I stood by and crembling, ed treasure t was mine.

    At last sisfied  , tain in tself. It’s all upside do’ll never lig t ttom. But even if s it properly, it ain matcill s acended victim, est madness of all: Supposing I  been to stop  rescued t and s burning er’s core er to her?

    It he fire of a madwoman.

    In my arms tirred and opened o meo do? Bely retreated, to tchen.

    I must get to a place of safety, ter. My mind er plan. Emmeline o do. It  Adeline killed Joake ell Adeline t unless sell t! e art a ne Adeline,  Angelfield, but together.

    And it all seems so simple I  of it before.

    iture glo, I put t is on tcable. e , en route to our new life.

    Noo  es it ake me to come back to tco follow…

    Not times goes t is a place she never goes.

    I run doe and into t roapestry cuso a bed and lay them in his canvas papoose.

    Noo the house.

    I am almost ture sters. Ser, living ligy ing in t. And two figures.

    Emmeline!

    I run. tcrils even in trance one floor and  at top. Flames cains; booksself is an inferno. In ter of t, in all t of top dead. Amazed. For Emmeline, turning bloe for bite. Saliated against er before, but now s. For her child.

    Around t of liger anotrol cans explode and fire rains dohe room.

    I open my mouto call to Emmeline t t t breat , and I choke.

    I ep around it, dodge t falls on me from above, brus out t groers I cannot see t reacoucartles t instantly. t y—sops. I tug at her.

    ‘ they are clear enough.

    sand?

    I try again. “the baby. I have saved him.”

    Surely ss my tug, and her hand slips from mine. here is she? I can see only blackness.

    I stumble foro th her form, grasp her and pull.

    Still s stay urns once more into the room. hy?

    So er. She is bound.

    Blind and o the bond.

    Eyes closed against t, I plunge into t let  s, I drag o t of it.

    t is  doesn’t burn easily. I pus s bech engages.

    Beside me, seps for to open it again. It is sometronger t pulls o t room.

    t sits in ter, is . ft burns my palm as I turn it. Nots me t nig t cs out a land to clutc again. tal burns , I pull her hand away.

    A great cry fills my   tself? I don’t even knoside tural start it gatrengt rises, reacensity, and  be at ts breat continues, impossibly lo fills t and contains it.

    And the fire.

    Outdoors. Rain. to t grass to damp our smoldering clot on our scorc t against t falls on my face, cools my eyes, and I can see again. Never , deep indigo -moving slate-black clouds, ten a plume, a spray of brigain of fire. A bolt of lighen again, and again.

    t tell Emmeline about t I  .

    I turn to o speak. her face—

    iful face is black and red, all smoke and blood and fire.

    her eyes, her green gaze, ravaged, unseeing, unknowing.

    I look at  find my beloved in it.

    ‘Emmeline?“ I whisper. ”Emmeline?“

    S reply.

    I feel my  die.   possible t… ?

    I cannot bear to know.

    I cannot bear not to know.

    ‘Adeline?“ My voice is a broken thing.

    But s or mig be, ter, t know who she is—

    does not reply.

    People are coming. Running up tly in t.

    I rise to a crouctle a. In t tcco my side, and set off.

    It is quiet in tly on t carry me to a small  often during my ing years. A ting or baking, I  s kindly grandmoth her face.

    I take to  tting. tful and quiet. Sting. Just sitting titc, able beside tle  beree.

    Sakes  ion. As if sled trayed my presence? It crosses my mind to step fore, and tion. I smell t t surns ao t t rises over t  so ransferred from my clot teps firmly back into he door.

    I am alone.

    No name.

    No home.

    No family.

    I am nothing.

    I o go.

    I o me.

    I stare at my burned palm but cannot feel the pain.

    kind of a thing am I? Am I even alive?

    I could go anyo Angelfield. It is the only place I know.

    Emerging from trees, I approacs, standing back, dazed and ctle o the grass.

    No one sees me.

    On tivity I stand, invisible. Per all. Per realized it yet. Per I .

    tion.

    ‘Look,“ sing. ”Surn. Stare. One of to alert turn from too. ”thank God!“ someone says.

    I open my mouto say… I don’t kno I say not stand th, no voice, and no words.

    ‘Don’t try to speak.“ Dr. Maudsley is by my side now.

    I stare at tor.

    I look at the house.

    t t. I remember t it behe baby.

    I begin to weep.

    ‘Sor to one of tay  ter in the ambulance.“

    A o me, clucking akes off  and  around me, tenderly, as t , oh, my poor dear.”

    t t me doe. And to tal.

    Sares into space. Eyes open, empty. After t moment I don’t look. t surns to me.

    ‘ about t hand, eh?“

    I am clutc , unconscious of t my body giving t away.

    akes my  o my palm. the key.

    ‘t’ll ells me. ”Don’t worry. Now, are you Adeline or are you Emmeline?“

    ures to this Emmeline?”

    I can’t ans feel myself, can’t move.

    ‘Not to worry,“ ime.“

    and ters for , “Still,  to call you somety-fifty, isn’t it? It’ll all come out in the wash.”

    tal. Opening tle. Voices speaking fast. tretced onto a trolley and  er. You’re safe now, Adeline.”

    Miss inter slept.

    I saender slackness of uft of unruly  did not lay straigemple, and in ook t eac brus , but all t over o fold to place.

    S stir. as shis unconsciousness already?

    I can’t say cer t. t ts of its er ime lapped over me as I sat  sleeping, but hing of her child.

    I  to say about t t possible t I ed in my tiredness? Did I fall asleep and dream? Or did Miss inter really speak one last time?

    I o your sister.

    I jerked my eyes open, but o be sleeping as deeply as before.

    I did not see t tle before dao be he room was my own.

    Beginnings