It  e; it axi driver and to take me so far out of to t of expression, must , for  me in. “e’ll give it a go,” he warned gruffly.

    e drove out of toinued to fall, piling up meticulously, flake by flake, on every incop, every bouger t village, t farme landscape, tinguis times from t land all about, and I so my seat, expecting at any moment t turn back. Only my clear directions reassured   on a road. I got out myself to open t gate, t t, tes of the house.

    ‘I ,“ I said.

    ‘Me? I’ll be all righer shrug.

    As I expected, tes  ing to tended to be looking for my keys in my bag ance away did I grab e and clamber over.

    tc locked. I pulled off my boots, s and  up. I y kitco Emmeline’s quarters, ions, full of questions, I stoked my rage; it y years in t ruins of Angelfield’s library. For all my inorming, my approac; t drank in tread. I did not knock but pus straigains ill closed. At Emmeline’s bedside Miss inter ting quietly. Startled by my entrance, sared at me, an extraordinary shimmer in her eyes.

    “Bones!” I   Angelfield!” I ing on tentero emerge from  ure did not matter. S, and I .

    Except t trying to distract me from my scrutiny.

    ‘Bones?“ said Miss inter. Se and t enougo drown all my fury. ”Oh,“ she said.

    O ricion a single syllable can contain. Fear. despair. Sorroion. Relief, of a dark, unconsoling kind. And grief, deep and ancient.

    And traction in tly in my mind t t ? Some-ting extraneous to my drama of t preceded y intrusion. For a faltering second I  ticed  noticing came togetmospains. transparency Miss inter’s eyes. t t teel core t o tention narroo one tide of Emmeline’s breato my ears.

    ‘No! She’s—“

    I fell to my knees by tared.

    ‘Yes,“ Miss inter said softly. ”S es ago.“

    I gazed at Emmeline’s empty face. Notill angrily red; ; ill green. I touced patc true t sely, irrevocably gone? It seemed impossible t it s deserted us completely? Surely t beo console us? as talisman, no magic t would bring  would reach her?

    It  persuaded me s  brougo my c, falling over eacience to fly into Emmeline’s ear.

    ‘Find my sister, Emmeline. Please find ell ing for ell  oo narro eac of me. ”tell ell uously, urgently from my lips. it any longer! tell o cornel“

    But I oo late. the divide had come down. Invisible. Irrevocable. Implacable.

    My o a pane of glass.

    ‘O toucer’s ly.

    Eventually I dried my eyes. t. Rattling around loose  twin,” I said. “She was here. Look.”

    I pulled at tucked into my skirt, revealed my torso to t.

    My scar. My ranslucence. t divides.

    ‘ted us. And s live  me.“

    I felt tter of Miss inter’s fingers tracing t on my skin, saender sympathy in her face.

    ‘t er t t her“

    ‘Cer looked at me. he compassion of her eyes.

    I t notly still. But under ting and a stirring. I felt t s. For years a ing vessel s cargo of bones. No sed. I urbed it, and it created a turbulence t lifted clouds of sand from tes of grit surbed er.

    All time Miss inter tled and ter returned to its quietness, slotled in ting ory,” I said. “And you told me you didn’t have one.”

    “Now you know, I do have one.”

    ‘I never doubted it.“ Sful smile. ”ed you  I kneory already. I  t . And t your essay, t you must o be my biograper all tale telling I empted to lie to you, you .“

    ‘I .“

    Sranquil, sad, unsurprised. “About time, too. how much do you know? ”

    ‘ you told me. Only a subplot, is  it. You told me tory of Isabelle and  paying attention. t ing me in tion of Jane Eyre. t tsider in t kno Angelfield  her.“

    Sadly s o tions is dead, Margaret.”

    ‘Can’t you remember?“

    ‘I am  remember my birtime o ourselves, tle c is somet ernity ago, at time. e live like latecomers at ter;  catc er events. imes o to t it is not only memories t s of pasmagoria t in t realm. tmares of a lonely cales appropriated by a mind ory. tasies of an imaginative little girl anxious to explain to ever story I may ier of forgetting, I do not pretend to myself t it is truth.“

    “All ch.”

    ‘Quite. t Joold me.“

    ‘And w did ell you?“

    ‘t I appeared like a rawberries.“

    Sold me tory.

    Someone ting at tra birds, because t pitted berries. And not trampled ts and left footprints all over t. No, some liged taking a berry ly,  disturbing a t even iced. ticed a pool of er under ap. tap urn, tig up. c about   an eye out.

    t day ratle scarecro drooped dos face. It ran off er it ermined to get its fruit t o yell and er a name to it. e t size, small and underfed?  tealing fruit from otumped for an answer.

    And someone ting s left t state, es—t aidy; hey had.

    For once  on t home.

    Passing by tap, iced it dripping again. Gave it a firm urn  even t it. tting  into it, anoter turn. t s.

    In t  account for.  get into tting se? And er if tap urned off so tig move it? C fooliso feel temperature. too late for frosts. Cool for time of year, though. And how much colder if you were hungry? And how much darker if you were a child?

    . Nevert of bed. ook ables, topiary garden, planning  an eye out for a floppy  in t bus to be seen.

    ‘’s tter  in silence at cable drinking a cup of coffee.

    ‘Nothing,“ he said.

    back to tood and scanned t bush anxious eyes.

    Nothing.

    At lunce ite and left turned flo by tap. telling  a biscuit next to it. urned tap on. It took quite an effort even for  ter fall, noisily, into a tin ering can, emptied it into t bed and refilled it. ter resounded around table garden. ook care not to look up and around.

    took tle  on to tap, and started bruss. It ant job; it o be done; you could spread disease if you didn’t clean your pots properly beting.

    Beap.

    turn instantly.  he was doing, brush, brush, brush.

    t, over to tap, faster than a fox.

    But te.

    tened, tried to flee but stumbled. Picking itself up, it limped on a feeps, tumbled again. Jo it up, lifted it—t of a cat, no more—turned it to face  fell off.

    Little carving. Eyes gone crusty, , and smelly. ts for c a o t ting ss feet. No s. A trembled. Fever, pain, starvation, fear. If  state, Jo,   it out of its misery.

    in t to fetc up close, got a wepped back.

    ‘No, no, I don’t know w?“

    ‘Dunk er butt, you mean?“

    ‘ater butt indeed! I’ll go and fill tub in tchen.“

    tinking rags aossed t into t  all to ted. t tub of er turned instantly black. In order to empty and refill tub, ted t, and it stood, s better foot. Naked and dripping, streaked s of gray-broer, all ribs and elbows.

    t t eac the child again.

    ‘Jo, but tell me, are you not seeing  seeing?“

    ‘Aye.“

    ‘Little c’s a little maid.“

    ttle after kettle, scrubbed at skin and  out from under terilized t—s didn’t cry out—and tly rubbed or oil into t around t calamine lotion onto tes, petroleum jelly onto t lips. tangles out of long, matted   last to  tcable, wo h and John peeled her an apple.

    Gulping do t get it do enoug a slice of bread and spread it ter. te it ravenously.

    tc, o a brigted wide and she hungry face.

    ‘Are you t I’m thinking?“ said John.

    ‘Aye.“

    ‘ill ell him?“

    ‘No.“

    ‘But she does belong here.“

    ‘Aye.“

    t for a moment or two.

    ‘ about a doctor?“

    ts in t so brig a o till , but better.

    ‘e’ll see onig tor in the morning.“

    ‘If needs be.“

    ‘Aye. If needs be.“

    ‘And so it tled,“ Miss inter said. ”I stayed.“

    ‘ was your name?“

    ‘tried to call me Mary, but it didn’t stick. Jouck to augo read, you knoalogs in t I soon discovered t call me anyt need to, for I .“

    I t about it all for a . It  to feel compassion. And yet…

    ‘ about Aurelius? You kne o gro a moto be abandoned? t Angelfield… I kno must  ell me, he fire?“

    e alking in t see ter’s face, but so s the bed.

    ‘Pull t over ell you about tell you about t first, per kno. So call Dr. Clifton. t need to be done.“

    care ook one look at Miss inter’s pallor and insisted on putting o bed and seeing to ion before anytogeto o goer bottle and folded the bed down.

    ‘I’ll telepon noay er?“ But it es later t so teroom.

    ‘I couldn’t speak to old me in a elep the line down.“

    e  off.

    I t of telephe piece of paper in my bag and was relieved.

    e arranged t I ay er for t s, so t Judito Emmeline’s room and do o be done ter,  medication was due.

    It o be a long night.

    BABYIn Miss inter’s narroole eaced to be ambus any minute. t from t out on: It cauged te arc of  sank her eye in a deep pool of shadow.

    Over t over t it mig, , make it fall less brutally upon Miss inter’s face.

    Quietly I sat, quietly I ched, and when she spoke I barely heard her whisper.

    ‘trut me see…

    ted from o trembling, their journey.

    I  kind to Ambrose. I could

    all and strong and  indifferent. But I . I o Emmeline.

    ‘Am I not good enougraig , like t.

    I pretended not to  ed. “If I’m not good enougell me so to my face!”

    ‘You can’t read,“ I said, ”and you can’t e!“ ook my pencil from tco scratcters onto a piece of paper. ters  it  out to show me.

    I snatc out of  into a ball and tossed it to the floor.

    opped coming into tcea break. I drank my tea in tte, ep or to t,  a ed, face frozen. er, cleaning tc. I felt as tc  of sight.

    ? A feer topped coming for tea. I kne before so notice to realize tioned  Ambrose. It ions, and se failed to see oo unkind.” Sly, full of compassion for ting her reproach for me. I could have shaken her.

    ‘You do realize t you’re going to  you?“ Mild astonis passed across  it tranquil as before. Not seemed, could disturb y. I dismissed Ambrose. I gave ill t  look at o  give  ask any questions. ”You may as ely,“ I told  t  ing I errupted, cleaned tools scrupulously, taug t and tidy. t tchen door.

    ‘ ? Do you kno?“

    I shook my head.

    ‘Come on.“

    ion of the pen, and I followed him.

    ‘Don’t e any time,“ ructed me. ”Clean and quick is ts.“

    our feet and s body firmly. ion t s neck. “See?”

    I nodded.

    ‘Go on then.“

    flurried to ts round back inguiss neighbors.

    ‘Now?“

    ‘ else are you going to eat tonight?“

    t it scuttled aime, clumsily, I o it. It squaried to beat its s panic to escape, and I o keep it still under my arm and get my s neck at time, I felt the boy’s severe eye upon me.

    ‘Clean and quick,“ ed me, I could tell from his voice.

    I o kill to kill t my rangled cry of alarm fle, and for a second I ated. it and a flap, t ruck by t I still  by ting, cla t it lurched away from me.

    Sly, poook t of my grasp and in a single movement .

    to me; I forced myself to take it. arm, ill.

    t me. ing he limp body in my hands.

    it a word urned his back and walked away.

    good o me? My   mine to give; it belonged to another, and always had. I loved Emmeline.

    I believe t Emmeline loved me, too. Only s is a painful to love a tside, a cast-off, a superfluity, a mere observer of twinness.

    Only  for anottle by little I coaxed s of silver til s forgot so talked. together we were happy.

    Until Adeline came back. Furious o tant so an end, and I side again.

    It  fair. t hough Adeline abandoned her, Emmeline loved her.

    ever Adeline did, it altered nototal. And me? My  I never fooled Emmeline.  kneruth.

    Emmeline had her baby in January.

    No one kneo tent to stay inside, yacreat  noticed.  or to t regular o  of time he door.

    Our contact . For meat and vegetables —I never learned to like killing c I learned to do it. As for ot to to collect c a boy on a bicycle s, I met  to t it ion to  least from time to time. Once,  t oday,” I imagined  t tor  if t reac it soon greo use Adeline like ted  time in ite. From being a scraimes—in , from certain angles— tell t. So from time to time on a ednesday morning, I o a tigated mask and go doo meet t as I came doo meet  citiously, , ted ip and o bicycle a by me as myself, ouc.

    difficult. But I roubled during ting about tself. I kne be. Isabelle’s mot survived  put t out of my  a time. t Emmeline s  in danger—tor

    taken  could not be alloo o Emmeline. ed Emmeline and Adeline. t could not be alloo o Emmeline and me. Besides,  te complications? And alt understand it, t t e rag-doll Adeline o realize t t Angelfield ely see trut, for tself, I could lock Adeline in t get a. But once it s. It o keep our secret.

    I y of my position. I kne Emmeline, no life but t I  enuous my claim o ot friends did I or could ed to speak up for me, and to me no able t titude er. Emmeline’s affection for me and mine for  as nothing.

    Emmeline  and placid, let t pass by untroubled. For me time  in an agony of indecision. o keep Emmeline safe? o keep myself safe? Every day I put off to t. During t mont sure tion o me in time.  resolved everyt too, could be arranged. But as time gre and I e bet to go to tor’s o tell rary t: t to do so o reveal myself, and t to reveal myself could only lead to my banis. tomorroold myself, as I replaced my coat on tomorrow.

    But t oo late for tomorrow.

    I o a cry. Emmeline!

    But it  Emmeline. Emmeline  sed and sed; eet s cry out. Se  turned to strengt  continued to resound all around t  Adeline’s, and t cease till morning, w, a boy, was delivered.

    It h of January.

    Emmeline slept; she smiled in her sleep.

    I batounded by toucer.

    the sun rose.

    time for decisions  er, and we were safe.

    My life could go on.